Sestina Shmeshtina

[doolasmind#11]

All in all a waste of space
minus the feeling of eternal dark.
Empty as my father's book case,
but youthful emotions are fake.
Aimless deeds hit their mark
from bows we did not make.

Fight for goals if only to make
our parents proud. Expectations take up space,
and land far from the mark.
Dim wits still shine in the dark.
Copies forged yet the original was fake,
authentic detectives take the case.

Truth is fact but just in case
check the source. For people make
believe stories, reality turns fake.
Endless fairy tales take up space
in a liar's mind. In the dark
a blemish cannot distinguish a mark.

Meet my friends John, Luke, and Mark.
They spoke to a prophet then plead his case.
Now the Son always rises against dark.
Sheep herd for comfort while wolves make
them stray. In an open space
your confidence is exposed as fake.

All the same, time is real and fake.
Hours pass a second thought to mark
eternity. To fathom forever ask space
where it puts it all. Bring a case
with you, label it fiction for make
no mistake, secrets hide in the dark.

Keep things light I'm through with dark.
For I'm no poet, I'm just a fake,
I throw around words and clearly make
a poem minus the poem mark.
Fourth stanza no attack, not the case,
twas just a way to fill empty space.

Give me space to not be fake
Doola is dark, mind off the mark
Get off my case! Sestina's are hard to make!

[Leanne]

Dim wits still shine in the dark -- love that!

You've chosen your end words well for two reasons: one, they are words that can be used in more than one way to achieve various shades of meaning and two, the use of "fake" in particular helps give the poem a very strong link that builds the overall theme of uncertainty, artifice and deceit of self and others (even though you ran out of steam a bit toward the end!)

In S6 L1, I think you mean "I'm through with dark".

Fantastic first sestina, I greatly admire your courage

[cidermaid]

Hi,
great effort.
I really like the third stanza for the strengthening theme it gives to the overall poem - also loved the line Leanne mentioned and a close 2nd was Endless fairy tales take up space.
Perhaps on my third pass, leanne is right in what she says about running out of steam, but first and second time through i had not noticed. I was just enjoying the read.
Thanks for shareing. AJ.

[doolasmind#11]

thank you both , and yes i did encounter a bit of frustration towards the end because it was so difficult and i felt the urge to finish. i'm going to try my hand at a few of the other forms as well, hopefully they aren't equally as nerve-racking haha

[Leanne]

Very few things are as painful to create as a good sestina... the first one I ever wrote took me a whole night and half a bottle of whisky

[doolasmind#11]

nice, i will definitely have to try that technique, minus whiskey and add vodka, brown liquor takes me to a whole other level that makes me unsure whether i can even read or not...let alone write poetry