two minute poem

[benthejack]

I'm about to give myself two minutes to blat something out. (need to get myself writing somehow)

--Folds (Edit)--

Half way.
crusted nails scrape the fiber.
Corners in, petal out,
turn over.

pinprick mind,
eyes a' straining.
single plane existence
for some time.

Straight-edged growth,
a piece-wise plant,
unfurling leaves
loose fingered clutch.

Here meet the maker
of gardens of lines,
and the sharpened light
of summery form-giving folds.


--Folds (2 minute version)--

half way,
crusted nails scrape the fibre
corners in, and a petal
to create this straight-laced delicacy.

for a time.





haha only managed 5 lines, turns out I'm quite slow

[billy]

but it's a great way of getting something down on paper or up on screen you can work with.

[popeye]

Good one jack, you're a lot quicker than i am, cheers!

[Leanne]

You've got some great imagery to build on here -- and like billy says, any start is better than none at all!

[popeye]

You've got some great imagery to build on here -- and like billy says, any start is better than none at all!

Umm, that's what i meant to say

[benthejack]

cheers for the feedback.

Yeah I'll try fill this one out if I can find more substance for it.

[arbil_poieo]

Hey Ben,
It only took you 2 minutes? It takes me 5 minutes to come up with the right word.
I really hope you do build on to this, but if not I'm still impressed with what you got already.

[benthejack]

cheers Ash
haha you should try it then.


I've given it another whirl anyway (see the edit).

[arbil_poieo]

cheers Ash
haha you should try it then.


I've given it another whirl anyway (see the edit).

I've tried, I just end up with emo crap or something that doesn't make sense. If there was a place for "crap poetry" here I would post them proudly.

Is this finished? I like "pinprick mind" and "gardens of lines"
I have no idea what it means, but I like poetry with layers. It's like reading something over and over and every time discovering something new about it. You have some really good images that I have to pay close attention to and hope to wrap my head around. Did the rest take 2 minutes?

[heslopian]

For a poem bashed out in two minutes during writer's block this is surprisingly good. There's no narrative or real point to speak of, but the images are crisp, surreal and rhythmic. An air of sinisterness underscores the poem, like a half-glimpsed ghost. Thank you for the read

[benthejack]

cheers Ash
haha you should try it then.


I've given it another whirl anyway (see the edit).

I've tried, I just end up with emo crap or something that doesn't make sense. If there was a place for "crap poetry" here I would post them proudly.

Is this finished? I like "pinprick mind" and "gardens of lines"
I have no idea what it means, but I like poetry with layers. It's like reading something over and over and every time discovering something new about it. You have some really good images that I have to pay close attention to and hope to wrap my head around. Did the rest take 2 minutes?

heh cheers. nah the rest took a bit longer.
haha I guess if I were to say what its about now it would probably spoil it (it's fairly mundane)

---

For a poem bashed out in two minutes during writer's block this is surprisingly good. There's no narrative or real point to speak of, but the images are crisp, surreal and rhythmic. An air of sinisterness underscores the poem, like a half-glimpsed ghost. Thank you for the read

cheers for the feedback.
You know I hadn't intended sinisterness, but now you mention it...