Picking a plus one.

[earlymorningnoises]

What a mess.
Make that face I hate.
The same ten muscles
for the same damn reasons.

What a fool.
A fish on a line.
A line without end
or at least for a while.

What a show.
Come one, come all!
See the neutered mind
with no fear left to know.

What a mess.
Taking my chances.
Without subscription
I'll never know what I've missed.

--
I tried to structure this more. Any advice?

[billy]

i think the what a mess lines work. not sure of the title though.
the 1st stanza isn't too bad. the 2nd has two whopping cliches in it that could be swapped out without much effort. same in the last stanza. structure, (did you mean layout) it looks okay. the first lines of each stanza work fairly well. i think the most important thing to sort out are the cliche.

good effort

thanks for the read.

I tried to structure this more. Any advice?

[brandontoh]

It's a good attempt. You kept to four lines per stanza, and no more than 8 syllables per line. Keeping a structure is a good guideline, but I do believe that you can feel free to let loose a little and not pay too much mind to the structure as long as it helps further your idea and deepen the impact.

As for the poem itself, cliches that billy mentioned aside, I like how every stanza starts with something that helps put the readers into the right state of mind for each stanza. The title does help provide context for the poem, but I think it can be better phrased.

[corawrites]

While I like the way the poem is structured, I found the punctuation to be an interference in the flow of this poem, which made it a little awkward to read.
Additionally, I personally found the first and third stanzas to be the strongest. The second stanza is by no means "bad", but if you were to isolate it and let it stand on its own it would seem rather prosaic.