young, drunk, and cocky

[KbPoetry]

I'm not 100% sure what the purpose of this piece is. I understand it's a quick jab at society, but I feel there should be more substance here. I think the second couplet could use some adjustment to make it flow a little better. I also think that in the third you should switch up the "hunting" and "hunters". The ducks could be shooting or something. I just want some more variation. Good luck with revisions!

[billy]

Girls on fire
And that's my business

People going everywhere
Cuz that's their religion

Duckies going hunting
They're shooting at hunters

The world is backwards
Not upside down

it reads like a nonsense poem which okay but it needs more of the same and a bit more depth. i also think you could tie it into the title a bit more.