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I take only male lovers
One now, one then
I have never worn bruises
nor fled a Communist regime
I have no track marks
I drink until I stop
I am unaltered
My wrists are intact
smooth white unpersecuted skin
My suffering is all in my mind
I am a two-faced rasp
to shred the conscience of others
I haven't one of my own
It could be worse
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so no apology there then
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You sound surprised... have we not met?
It could be worse
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for a minute, i thought you were Dostoevsky
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(10-06-2012, 08:04 AM)Leanne Wrote: I am a two-faced rasp
to shred the conscience of others
I haven't one of my own
You can be clever, sarcastic and slightly intimidating with your words . . . in this poem you demonstrate a basic principle that carries over from public speaking- you demand both attention and respect from the nature of the words. Bravo for making me feel a little tricked by the end of the poem. I was looking for the normal cliche tie-in, but you came with the 'above-it-all' sneer that made me chuckle . . . mostly at myself
So clever . . . when you shit I bet it is shaped like tea leaves
^I'm high. Anyway . . .
good poem . . .
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just mercedes
Unregistered
I like the way you hold the world, including yourself, up for observation. The contrasts between yourself and the world are noted -and the source of suffering is identified almost in a detached way. I like the way you end with what feels like an admission of lack. I'm also feeling the whole poem as a bit of tongue-in-cheek fun-poking.
An autobiographical poem, finally? Or a cunning diversion?
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As I read it, it didn't just say "this is me", but "I'm pretty normal".
Not sure about its sincerity though.
If I say nothing, it could be because I have nothing to say. I won't tell you this.
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10-07-2012, 03:11 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-07-2012, 03:14 PM by Leanne.)
Crazy normal... but suffering doesn't have to be loud and obvious to exist
and you don't need to be a messed up loony to write poetry... but it helps...
It could be worse
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(10-07-2012, 03:11 PM)Leanne Wrote: I'm Crazy
i wouldn't say that
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Of course you wouldn't... it looks like your mouth is full.
It could be worse
When different people, all over the place, treat you like you're crazy for so long, no matter how generic and low key you try to act, there's no use to even try any more.
