Ice Flight

[Antares]

Highly abstract and pure emotion for me.

Heavenly streams
Of frozen vapor
Caress my eyes
With careless strength
To see
To behold
To absorb
With the aether’s last breath
My senses fill
Overflow
With innocent wonder
My eyes mere tools
Taken
Uncontrolled
Drawn
To the incomprehensible
The force
My soul stares at me
With an unyielding gaze.

[billy]

maybe a few abstract images would help improve the poem.

it feels like seeing a comet and being in awe.

[addy]

there's something about this piece that lulls me, even though its describing a powerful vision. I suppose the phrasing makes it sound very graceful. Can't really get behind "caressing someone's eyes", but that's a personal nit more than anything .