Velvet Elvis

[Erthona]

…and yes, there are many,
when it comes to poetry,
who can think only of that
abbreviated writing as such,
which conforms to a certain metered line,
a certain form it must endure,
and, of course, it ab-so-lut-ly has to rhyme.
But then,
there are those,
also,
and this,
not to be unkind,
who think that Velvet Elvis
is the highest form of art.
After all, is it not paint,
and is there not a canvas?
Granted, it is inky black,
not blandly white,
but who are you to say,
that they are wrong,
and you are right?
Isn’t this idea of yours just conceit?
Is beauty not,
in the apprehension of that form,
that pleases he who gazes?
Why should Velvet Elvis not be the norm?
I bet more have been painted (and sold),
Than any by that guy, Go-gan, or was it,
Bland-go?
Well, who they are doesn’t matter,
if it were important,
to me,
I’m sure that I would know!
So, with that said,
I have this poem I wrote,
it really is a hum-dinger,
it came to me the other day
while I was watching Oprah,
or was it Jerry Springer?
What?
Oh no,
I’ve never written one before,
but anyone one can do it,
it just has to rhyme.
I mean, its nothing that hard,
or that requires practice,
it’s nothing so difficult as say,
painting a Velvet Elvis.

©2011 ~Erthona

[Wildcard]

Hi Erthona,
We haven't officially met. I'm the neighborhood hillbilly and I want to be clear from the start that I know very little about poetry. It's good to see you posting, for sure. This piece left me with a smile on my face, so no matter what you label it- it's a winner. There were a few things I took a second look at, but most of all I just kept getting the feeling that it was a little straight-forward. I don't mean to sound mean, but parts of it felt like an article in an e-zine(a very well-written, charming article). Like I said, I am an extreme amateur and I could be way off on that one. Here's my take:

…and yes, there are many, --it feels a little awkward at first. I didn't know what was going on. And yes, what?
when it comes to poetry,
who can think only of that
abbreviated writing as such,
which conforms to a certain metered line,
a certain form it must endure, --love the use of endure. imo it gives a certain attitude
and, of course, it ab-so-lut-ly has to rhyme. --again, good work, but you forgot the 'e' absolutely.
But then,
there are those,
also,
and this,
not to be unkind,
who think that Velvet Elvis
is the highest form of art.
After all, is it not paint,
and is there not a canvas?
Granted, it is inky black,
not blandly white,
but who are you to say,
that they are wrong,
and you are right?
Isn’t this idea of yours just conceit?
Is beauty not,
in the apprehension of that form,
that pleases he who gazes?
Why should Velvet Elvis not be the norm?
I bet more have been painted (and sold),
Than any by that guy, Go-gan, or was it,
Bland-go?
Well, who they are doesn’t matter,
if it were important,
to me,
I’m sure that I would know!
So, with that said,
I have this poem I wrote,
it really is a hum-dinger,
it came to me the other day
while I was watching Oprah,
or was it Jerry Springer?
What?
Oh no,
I’ve never written one before,
but anyone one can do it, --I was thrilled when you didn't rhyme 'do it' with 'to it'. A little fear came rushing at me when I saw it, but you took it in a much less sensible direction
it just has to rhyme.
I mean, its nothing that hard,
or that requires practice,
it’s nothing so difficult as say, --I'm not a punctuation genius so I may be wrong, but I think an ellipsis or hyphen would server as a better lead-in to a great final line.
painting a Velvet Elvis.

©2011 ~Erthona

Now as to the subject or subjectivity, I think you make a valid point in an amusing way. Cheers! Thanks for sharing.

[Erthona]

Mark,

Thanks for the welcome and the read and comments.
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The ellipsis indicates that you are entering in, in the middle of a conversation. The "...and yes" is responding to a question. Despite the fact the question is left out, the answer which follows should indicate what the question was.

Absolutely! Thanks for catching that, I'll correct it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"--I'm not a punctuation genius so I may be wrong, but I think an ellipsis or hyphen would server as a better lead-in to a great final line."

I didn't want to go too Henny Youngman here, and thought that a comma was about the right amount of pause indicated for normal speech, sans drum roll.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"a little straight-forward" "it felt like an article in an e-zine"

This was written with the intent of appear facile. However, it does use the stream of consciousness technique of changing speakers, and thus viewpoint, without telling you that it is. There is the opening "responder" persona, which takes a measured tone towards these aspects of poetry under discussion. Then the somewhat indignant fan of the Velvet Elvis, which it holds up as superior to either Gogan or Van Gogh because a. It hadn't really heard of either, and b. quantity, as "more have been painted (and sold)". The final speaker is a somewhat more well defined speaker. She has gender for one thing, she is obviously a fan of talk TV, and she doesn't have a clue about poetry, except to assume that the only requirement for it is to rhyme.
This is a satire, but it is a satire that pokes fun at both the academician who would restrict poetry to a straightjacket of rules (which they assume are absolute because someone said so), and the uneducated person who takes Hallmark cards as the high watermark of poetry.

So it is possible I need to be more clear about what I am doing, because while I would agree that the tone is fairly straightforward, I don't think a duel level satire is, not to mention that the extended metaphor is anything but straightforward. Regardless, thanks for taking the time for the read and the comments.

Dale

[grannyjill]

I think this is wonderful. It flows as smoothly as, well a smooth-thing (Black Adder) and you have caught the hoi polloi tone of 'po'try' painting conversation beautifully. But, the satire is a bit lost. Confession. I am a member of the hoi polloi, and found myself going - yes, you tell 'em, mate.
Like 'Till Death Do Us Part' - Alf Garnett -This was supposed to be satire and it rebounded because he became a spokesperson for the working class.
Anyway, what is so wrong with a Velvet Elvis? Only joking!

On a slightly different tack. I remember a violent argument with a boyfriend once because he said the great unwashed shouldn't be allowed pop music. They should be made to appreciate Mozart etc. I remember the hit of the day was A Whiter Shade of Pale (Procol Harum?)...and that sparked off the 'discussion'

[Erthona]

The satire is towards rigidity and arrogance, not towards a particular set of people. One of the wisest things I ever heard said was from a 62 years old farmer with a sixth grade education. Some of the dumbest were from a PhD who was head of a University English dept. I grew up working in the oil fields for the first 22 years of my life, and most of my family were farmers, or trades people.

Dale

[billy]

this feels like a play on or off the anti warhol poem i did (which isn't on par to yours) i think i prefer the concept that any art can be art but it can't all be good art/poetry. depending if you prefer meter and rhyme to free verse etc. depending if what you do comes from mastering a craft as warhol did. (to some extent) or from being one of the masses. (i'm not sure i made sense but there you go)

…and yes, there are many, i like the break into the speech, it's like an ephemeral juxtaposition an actor would use before his cue is called
when it comes to poetry,
who can think only of that
abbreviated writing as such,
which conforms to a certain metered line,
a certain form it must endure,
and, of course, it ab-so-lut-ly has to rhyme.
But then, the first pov is only just less than scathing (for me)
there are those,
also,
and this,
not to be unkind, when someone says not to be, or not really, it usually is or they wouldn't have to pre sorry themselves so to speak
who think that Velvet Elvis
is the highest form of art.
After all, is it not paint,
and is there not a canvas?
Granted, it is inky black,
not blandly white,
but who are you to say,
that they are wrong,
and you are right?
Isn’t this idea of yours just conceit? the question is valid but only partially,
Is beauty not,
in the apprehension of that form,
that pleases he who gazes? and this rewrite of an oldie gives the reason why
Why should Velvet Elvis not be the norm?
I bet more have been painted (and sold),
Than any by that guy, Go-gan, or was it, i like the the knowledge played off the lack of knowledge
Bland-go?
Well, who they are doesn’t matter,
if it were important,
to me, this part made me laugh a little, the way the opposite side of the original question is played out
I’m sure that I would know!
So, with that said,
I have this poem I wrote, i struggle to accept this line is from the same 1st person as that who wrote the above, Go-gan included. is 'i wrote' needed, for me it feels forced.
it really is a hum-dinger,
it came to me the other day the other day feels redundant,
while I was watching Oprah,
or was it Jerry Springer?
What?
Oh no,
I’ve never written one before,
but anyone one can do it,
it just has to rhyme. the insight of this last part is keen though it feels a little too obvious that the rhyme writer couldn't be the 1'st person who is doing the soliloquy
I mean, its nothing that hard,
or that requires practice,
it’s nothing so difficult as say,
painting a Velvet Elvis.

©2011 ~Erthona

all in all i found it to be a good read that seems to put across that it takes all poetry and yet it seems to berate all types of poetry/poet as well. some of it is at odds with some of the statements mentioned and i'm not sure that lifts it up a level or drops it a notch or two.
on the one hand were asked what right we have to dismiss something and on the other we're told beauty is in the eye of the beholder. my grammar isn't good enough to dictate the rights and wrongs so i'll just say i didn't see any prob's there. i did ejoy the piece though. thanks for the read. (jmo)

[Erthona]

Paul, (or should I call you kangaroo mouse?)

Thanks for the read and comments. I have tried to respond to all below. Also, thanks for clarifying that was a Warhol piece you posted, I was uncertain when I commented. Partially my fault as I am just not that familiar with him (I know little of him, as I care little for him, still I should be better inform, still one must pick and choose and I choose not to pick him). As his "Eight Elvises" sold for around 100 mil (that's about 12.5 mil per Elvi), maybe he does deserve mention with the painters of the Velvet Elvises, although I have yet to run across a Warhol in a garage sale (not, that he is not deserving of it).

Dale

Dale
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The changes in speaker are after these lines

"is the highest form of art."

"Well, who they are doesn’t matter"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"not to be unkind" Is of course a condescending line.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"the other day feels redundant" Yes, it is, but this is a dialect, and so redundant as it is, it is also accurate. I grew up with these people, believe me, I know.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"the insight of this last part is keen though it feels a little too obvious that the rhyme writer couldn't be the 1'st person who is doing the soliloquy"

They are similar, but the person before is a generic voice of a certain segment of people. The next is a specific person.

[billy]

it's billy, i thought i was being cooel picking a name like little mouse.

thanks for the reply dale. and the poetry.

[Erthona]

Yeah, I know, just thought I'd throw a little sand at you, or maybe some spice. Did you read the whole series?

[billy]

yes, i always do.

i'm still of a mind about redundant hehe.

oh, you meant the books
not all but most. i thought dune the best.

[Erthona]

Yes, "Dune" was excellent, but it seemed to go downhill pretty quickly after that. Herbert was kind of a one trick pony. Did he ever write anything else besides "Dune"? Of course I'd settle for that.

Dale