Considering Suicide

[Wildcard]

blank faced drivers in their own metal world
veer in and out of view
some are like-minded
others are polar opposites
I think I'd like to meet them all

another lane, but not for me
not the way I drive
tempting to cross
wanting to speed
daring myself to stop

keep my awful aura in the stereo
and wake the neighbors with my whispers
for when I decide, I will whip the wheel
and make friends with the median

[addy]

Like a modern, disaffected, and gently sad version of "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening". I approve. Good stuff.

[Wildcard]

Thanks addy!

[grannyjill]

It says in the blurb at the top of this page, that poetry in this forum needs no critique. Goody - I can relax and just read.

But, what does 'make friends with the median' mean? Make friends with the average?

I wanted it to be (because of the title I suppose) something like 'Make friends with my maker' (cliche - but something which means that)

ps awful aura in the stereo - loved it, for the alliteration and the meaning.

[rayheinrich]

Yes, "poetry for fun" is the bestest. And for me, technically, all-inclusive;
as that's pretty much the only reason I do it.

"If not for fun, then, what's the point?" - John Malkovich
(Though maybe he was being sarcastic? Also he was addressing acting, but...)

"some are like-minded
others are polar opposites"
ha, working 'suicide' and 'bipolar' in together

"I think I'd like to meet them all"
no, you wouldn't, obviously delusional

"keep my awful aura in the stereo"
yes, wonderful line.

"and make friends with the median"
i'd guess this refers to one of those awfully hard concrete ones
found at the median of a highway.

[grannyjill]

....I still don't know what a median is. Is it an American thingy?

[Wildcard]

Yes, "poetry for fun" is the bestest. And for me, technically, all-inclusive;
as that's pretty much the only reason I do it.

"If not for fun, then, what's the point?" - John Malkovich
(Though maybe he was being sarcastic? Also he was addressing acting, but...)

"some are like-minded
others are polar opposites"
ha, working 'suicide' and 'bipolar' in together

Thanks

"I think I'd like to meet them all"
no, you wouldn't, obviously delusional

Maybe you are thinking of a different definition of 'meet' . . .

"keep my awful aura in the stereo"
yes, wonderful line.

"and make friends with the median"
i'd guess this refers to one of those awfully hard concrete ones
found at the median of a highway.

About the median, you are right

....I still don't know what a median is. Is it an American thingy?

It must be an American thingy, but I'm not always aware of what is exclusive to my country. I am not very socially broad, but am working on becoming an International Poet of Mystery.

Where I'm from on divided highways the grass/concrete/asphalt between the alternating lanes is called the median.

[grannyjill]

Aha - thank you for photo. These are called Central Reservations or Traffic Islands in the UK....

I think your verse would be unbalanced by the following line

and make friends with the central reservation.
I have a suggestion - how about 'bollard'...instead - that's the concrete post on the central reservation.

[Wildcard]

Those suggestions sound very foreign to me. What I mean to suggest is something quite vague. For me, median works because that is what we call it here and it is ambiguous enough for my purposes. The suggestion is stronger, to me, without the specification.

Edit: And 'make friends' is a common enough expression here to mean run into here. Is it not used where you are from? Like we would say, 'Boy if you keeping talking smack you are gonna make friends with my fist!'

[rayheinrich]

How can you possibly prefer "median"?
It's so... average.
It's so... pedestrian.

Not me, mate, I'll be taking to the bollard: a spawn of the mythic
(and actually quite real as well) deep. Say it aloud, roll it off your
tongue, splash it with your spit; can't you just taste the very flavour
of the sea itself?

And so many types: Maritime bollards (the original), road bollards,
movable bollards, bell bollards, traffic bollards (especially interesting
are the internally illuminated ones), bollards for physical security,
bollards for fire emergencies, bollard lights, and (wouldn't you know it)
bollard sculpture!

More on bollards: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollard

P.S. (from wiki)
Wevie Stonder (under the pseudonym Wevie de Crepon) has a song called
Ton Wah, in which bollards feature quite heavily.

An obstructionist character named Bollard appears in "Rumpole of the
Bailey". (Wonderful series BTW.)

P.P.S. Instead of "and make friends with the median" you could use:
"and acquaint myself with a bollard"

[Wildcard]

Your suggestions are appreciated, but again I will say that I feel more familiar with my own language and that 'bollard' is foreign and unfamiliar to me. It also does not accomplish what I want to say. Thanks for your help anyway.

[grannyjill]

I once started a poem with Higgledy piggledy houses....a bunch of Americans ganged up on me saying my use of these words made my verse seem like a Dr. Seus poem, and when I argued back I was told I should be aware of a wider audience (or words to that affect) Higgledy piggledy is a perfectly normal phrase used here in the UK to mean 'untidy' but I took their point.

Anyway, I thought you might like the word bollard - I thought wrong.

[Wildcard]

If your poem started with 'higgledly piggedly houses' and I hadn't heard of it I'd Google it and if I didn't get it then, I'd ask you what you meant. If what you meant makes sense then I'd probably digress, if it didn't I'd say so. I would respect your rights as creator and maintain my positions as critique. As I said, I gave the suggestions some thought, but I just can't justify using it. Not entirely because it isn't an American word either. Mostly it just doesn't give that sarcastic slant that I'd like to infuse.

Seriously thanks for the ideas. I don't mean to sound stubborn.

[Leanne]

Just to add fuel... we use "median" here in Australia as well, and I like the little pun it creates

[rayheinrich]

Mark said: "Your suggestions are appreciated, but again I will say that
I feel more familiar with my own language and that 'bollard' is foreign
and unfamiliar to me. It also does not accomplish what I want to say.
Thanks for your help anyway."

Ha! Mark, this is "Poetry For Fun", you're not supposed to take my comment
as serious criticism. Oh, maybe you're sarcastically acting serious...
hmm, if so you've got me fooled.


grannyjill said: "I once started a poem with Higgledy piggledy
houses....a bunch of Americans ganged up on me saying my use of these
words made my verse seem like a Dr. Seus poem, and when I argued back I
was told I should be aware of a wider audience (or words to that
affect). Higgledy piggledy is a perfectly normal phrase used here in the
UK to mean 'untidy' but I took their point."

I don't know where those "Americans" were coming from (maybe Ignorance,
Nevada?), but not only is "higgledy piggledy" totally "Mercan" (as we
say it down here in Tejas), it's the name for a type of fun poetry
actually *invented* by Mercans. We used to have informal contests
writing Higgledy Piggledy on that wonderful old forum: "The Writers
Block" (sometime in the mid 90's?).


P.S. Here's a link with Higgledy Piggledy (double dactyl) rules and examples
for anyone interested:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/show...p?t=198616

A wonderful example from the above link:

Higgeldy Piggledy
Sergei Rachmaninov
wrote his concertos for
handspans like wings.

Few realistically
can pianistically
digitalistically
play the damned things.