Pissing in Wales:

[billy]

I pissed yellow in a stream
as warbling water sang my cock,
and tap danced on bare feet.
Anticipating the shiver;
toes curled round smooth pebbles
polished by countless drinkers
bequeathing a bladder
at this very spot, and arches arched.
I tried singing
in the rain
but fell the damp fall of the river drunk.
An otter scurried, snout all snarly
sharp teeth grinning
into his brown trout.
I left my fish
in the chippy doorway
along with the curry
and all the booze I'd ever drank
ever.

---

i made a title change and cut the last line which was
"so this is Wales"

[addy]

dirty bastard

I don't think I'd change much with this, billy. It is clearly a fun piece and as its stands the comedic timing is pretty much spot-on (and the line "warbling water sang my cock" by rights shouldn't sound as melodic as it does LOL). I'd at least suggest a change in the title (of course, it's not that important either...); instead of the last line, how about having the title be "In Wales", or, if you enjoy the pun, "Pissed in Wales"? Of course you're the real comedy master so your instinct on it is better than mine. Thanks for the read billy

[billy]

i like the idea for a title change.

thanks addy.