Lit

[Larry]

our cosmos grows into nothing
like air blown into a black balloon.
stretches indefinitely,
pulling planetary bodies further and further
apart, into darkness.

soon, the isolated stars
will burn in hermitage,
and emptiness will fasten
itself into our galaxy,
making playgrounds for asteroids
and swing sets that comets can ride,
across a vast and voided sky
lit by not one
firefly.

[billy]

our cosmos grows into nothing [would the be better]
like air blown into a black balloon. would a vacuum be better
stretches indefinitely, instead of like air ]
pulling planetary bodies further and further
apart, into darkness. [could it be perked up ? ]

soon, the isolated stars [is the needed]
will burn in hermitage,
and emptiness will fasten
itself into our galaxy,
making playgrounds for asteroids
and swing sets that comets can ride,
across a vast and voided sky [is across needed/
lit by not one
firefly.

if you use grammar, it has to be used properly; which means caps at the beginning of a sentence. all grammar of no grammer is the rule.
a period at the en of the poem and a cap at the beginning is okay.

for me it feels a bit telly. a few good lines like;

will burn in hermitage
and swing sets that comets can ride.

but it needs a few more which are as good.

for me it's a better poem than many could write but not a poem as good as you can write.
it def doesn't need throwing away
but it does need an edit

thanks for the read larry

[addy]

Another fascinating poem Larry

our cosmos grows into nothing
like air blown into a black balloon.
stretches indefinitely,
pulling planetary bodies further and further "planetary bodies" isn't redundant, per se, but it sounds a bit too literal
apart, into darkness.

soon, the isolated stars
will burn in hermitage,
and emptiness will fasten "will" can be omitted
itself into our galaxy,
making playgrounds for asteroids
and swing sets that comets can ride, "that" can be ommitted I think
across a vast and voided sky
lit by not one
firefly.

Loverly overall.