Faunication

[Leanne]

Revision 11/8/11

Sideways look,

I don't believe, she says, you know,
What's your favourite by Rimbaud?

Ah, say I, the best of him
was his full stop. I cannot quote
his pages, though
I've read them all. I don't speak French,
you understand, but he
debauched, a dreadful man
he spoke my tongue, and spoke it well.

He's gone to Hell, she says, and I --
well, I just sigh. It's Hell he left.
Full stop, he wrote.
Enough of this, this pleasure dome,
I'm done with poems.

How brave he was
(depraved and vile)
while I just sit
and dread the hour
when cowardice alone will force
my own full stop.

Sideways look,

Well I can quote
each word he wrote.

I pity her. She knows the lines
but never learned
to join the dots.


Original

Sideways look,

I don't believe, she says, you know --
What's your favourite by Rimbaud?

Ah, say I, the best of him
was his full stop. I cannot quote
his pages, though
I've read them all. I don't speak French,
you understand, but he --
debauched, a dreadful man --
he spoke my tongue, and spoke it well.

He's gone to Hell, she says, and I --
well, I just sigh. It's Hell he left.
Full stop, he wrote.
Enough of this, this pleasure dome,
I'm done with poems.

How brave he was --
depraved and vile --
while I just sit
and dread the hour
when cowardice alone will force
my own full stop.

Sideways look,

Well I can quote
each word he wrote.

I pity her. She knows the lines
but never learned
to join the dots.

[ICSoria]

The cadence within this piece was so well done, I could not find anything to criticize about it. I liked the way you mixed up the line-lengths, which helped highlight certain portions. I loved how you tossed in that "sideways look," and of course, loved the title! Your knowledge displayed within the tight meter as well as your descriptive narrative again confirms to me your expertise in poetic form. Thank you for the read.

This actually intrigued me enough that I wanted to look up and compare references to “full stop.” The term has innumerable uses, outlined within Wikipedia alone. Another search led me to an interesting comparison between Arthur Rimbaud and Robert Lowell, wherein their respective metaphorical techniques were analyzed. This, not surprisingly, bored the hell out of me: It seemed written by one more literary pedant in the heaves of self-stimulation--a result of listening to himself wax philosophical in his most prosodic terms. However, one reference that particularly caught my attention was the connection of Arthur Rimbaud to Jim Morrison, through Wallace Fowlie, considered one of two foremost translators of Rimbaud’s works, which were originally written in Latin and later in an archaic French dialect—very difficult to translate. Morrison had a deep respect for Fowlie’s work and would send him letters expressing gratitude for his work. Fowlie on the other hand, used this fact to great personal benefit after Morrison’s death, referencing the correspondence to pique his students’ interest at the start of various lectures. It seemed the only way to get them to pay attention.

Sid

References:Wikipedia, RIMBAUD AND JIM MORRISON..., Poetry & translation: the art of the impossible By Peter Robinson

[Leanne]

Many thanks, Sid -- Morrison was indeed a fan of Rimbaud's poetry, though I think perhaps Mr Fowlie overstates old Jim's fascination with the translator himself
The full stop is really something I envy -- Rimbaud was something of an enfant terrible, writing all his poetry and other creative endeavours before he reached 21, when he simply announced that he'd done all he could with it and stopped. I often sigh (when I'm in poet-in-garret mode) and wonder how much more useful and interesting my life might have been if I'd done the same... but then I remember that I wasn't famous as a teenager, nor did I have a wild homosexual affair with a fellow (married) poet, nor was I really what one could consider a libertine Still, maybe that can all be blamed on just not timing it right!

[billy]

Sideways look,

I don't believe, she says, you know --
What's your favourite by Rimbaud?

Ah, say I, the best of him
was his full stop. I cannot quote
his pages, though
I've read them all. I don't speak French,
you understand, but he --
debauched, a dreadful man --
he spoke my tongue, and spoke it well.

He's gone to Hell, she says, and I --
well, I just sigh. It's Hell he left.
Full stop, he wrote.
Enough of this, this pleasure dome,
I'm done with poems.

How brave he was --
depraved and vile --
while I just sit
and dread the hour
when cowardice alone will force
my own full stop.

Sideways look,

Well I can quote
each word he wrote.

I pity her. She knows the lines
but never learned
to join the dots.

i thought i'd replied to this
great free verse poem. if i had one quibble it would be all the --'s, i found myself spending time looking at them all as i pondered the poem hehe.
the content is excellent. "it's hell he left" i think is the crux of the poem.
as opposed to "he's gone to hell" that said he did die young.
i get a feeling of the now mixed with the then; of over a 120 years. the two feel as though they're strolling down a supermarket isle and just gas-bagging. too many line to like just 1 or 2.

very publishable Leanne (jmo)
thanks for the read.

[ICSoria]

very publishable Leanne (jmo)
thanks for the read.

I so agree with Billy's assessment, Leanne! It is obvious that every line is carefully thought out.
I should have told you before, I loved the epigrammatic close as well--great summation--an aphorism of mistaking knowledge for wisdom.

Sid

[Todd]

Leanne,

I've been reading this poem since you put it up looking for anything that felt off, and at least to my tastes have found nothing. I even went to the used bookstore yesterday and thought maybe I should get some Rimbaud (someone I'd heard a lot about but had never read. I thought it would be worth reading anyway, and maybe it would help in critiquing this poem. The book I got i think is two collections A Season in Hell and The Drunken Boat. I couldn't help but smile at your Hell references. I love the interplay between the two people and how one knows the words while the other knows the spirit behind the words. I also like the lines about the narrator's full stop resulting from cowardice. This was a really strong poem. I enjoyed it.

Best,

Todd

[Leanne]

Billy, I'll look again at the em-dashes, I should be able to remove a couple if it's obvious that the italicised parts are a different speaker interrupting.

Sid, Todd, I'm sure you both realise that the entire poem's just an excuse for me to never remember anything line-for-line But I've always believed that the words are really only there to remind you of what's going on in the background.