|
Please Don't Come.
|
We’re having guests come by
to help eat our food. There’ll be eight of us altogether; I wonder will I get the left over Crème brûlée. 
06-05-2011, 11:43 AM
Couple of spelling nits: I think you meant "our food" in the second line, and "There'll" in the third. Other than that this is a cute little piece. Not too poetic on its own but when put in the context of the title quietly witty. Do you need the line break after "wonder" though?
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
06-05-2011, 11:58 AM
i sorted the spellings out, sorry for that i was in a rush, they should be here in about ten mins hehe.
i do want the line break there. i changed the following line to see if it works any better. thanks for the feedback 
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
