Black Widow

[jadielue]

" Like the dancing silhouette
of the Black Widow spider, she
is a sight to be cherished and
beloved, but never trusted...."


A dress made of flesh, flaunting
every curve.

Her hips sway, haunting those
who's eyes travel along the war-
provoking slopes.

Enticing, yes. Delicious, No. Fine
and delectable looking figures such
as this are bitter, and scalding to
the touch.

She'll fuck you, but you wont live
through the first puff of the post-
bliss cancer stick.

Her hair falls tenderly down her
back like waves of a biblical flood.
Blood red tendrils of beauty they
seem, but innocence is not known
here.


Silk and lace trail behind her in
asphyxiating ribbons, she's the last
thing you'll ever see.

[billy]

" Like the dancing silhouette
of the Black Widow spider, she
is a sight to be cherished and
beloved, but never trusted...." be loved


A dress made of flesh flaunting needs a comma
every curve.

Her hips sway, haunting those
who's eyes travel along the war-
provoking slopes. nice feel of Mata Hari

Enticing? Yes. Delicious? No. Fine not sure but i think as the questions are rhetorical they need a comma instead of a question mark (i think )
and delectable looking figures such
as this are bitter, and scalding to
the touch.

She'll fuck you, but you wont live
through the first puff of the post-
bliss cancer stick. great image, and verse

Her hair falls tenderly down her
back like waves of a biblical flood. biblical flood and tenderly don't work well as a simile for me;
Blood red tendrils of beauty they
seem, but innocence is not known
here.


Silk and lace trail behind her in
asphyxiating ribbons, she's the last
thing you'll ever see. great ending.

for me the poem is an extremely enjoyable read.
the image you show are excellent. the enjambment feels a little awkward in places and stops the poems flow.
particularly these two lines;
Her hair falls tenderly down her
Silk and lace trail behind her in
in other lines too but those don't jar the read as much.

for me all it needs is a minor edit to make a good poem really good. (jmo)

thanks for the read as always

[jadielue]

Thank you.