In Another Universe

[heslopian]

You know I love you, always have, and will until those matching tombs,
built to hold my wife and I, so the charade maintained in life
will keep on through eternity, claims the body I’ve lent you.
Servant I cherish like a girl, why do you refuse my gifts,
the trinkets pushed beneath your door, the watch I strapped onto your wrist
when we first disgraced ourselves? I held close your sweating form,
muscles accrued in a labouring life, heaving armchairs, serving plates,
the thousand relics I’ve despised since first they grew familiar. You melted
like cream in my arms, blushed at the feel of my hand on your rump,
the way you did when I stroked it covertly as you served my guests.

I’ve fathered several children now. Perhaps that is my greatest sin,
breeding life out of death, the emotional wreckage my wife navigates,
moving among the socialites, trading quips on so-and-so’s blouse
while she wonders why I can’t touch her. How I ever could at all
seems incredible to me. Is this what’s causing your distance? The reason
behind the envelope containing all the gifts I gave? I laid you down
on my marital bed, you clutched the pillows, screamed my name, wept it
and I never shushed. Is this not devotion enough? Or do you feel
for my sweet wife, as I’ve grown numb to her pleadings?
In another universe this story might have ended well.

[Ris Yerg]

Wow!
Fantastic writing!
Thanks for sharing!
R.Y.

[heslopian]

Thanks Ris

[ficosdarkness]

You know I love you, always have, and will until those matching tombs,
built to hold my wife and I, so the charade maintained in life
will keep on through eternity, claims the body I’ve lent you.
Servant I cherish like a girl, why do you refuse my gifts,
the trinkets pushed beneath your door, the watch I strapped onto your wrist
when we first disgraced ourselves? I held close your sweating form,
muscles accrued in a labouring life, heaving armchairs, serving plates,
the thousand relics I’ve despised since first they grew familiar. You melted
like cream in my arms, blushed at the feel of my hand on your rump,
the way you did when I stroked it covertly as you served my guests.

I’ve fathered several children now. Perhaps that is my greatest sin,
breeding life out of death, the emotional wreckage my wife navigates,
moving among the socialites, trading quips on so-and-so’s blouse
while she wonders why I can’t touch her. How I ever could at all
seems incredible to me. Is this what’s causing your distance? The reason
behind the envelope containing all the gifts I gave? I laid you down
on my marital bed, you clutched the pillows, screamed my name, wept it
and I never shushed. Is this not devotion enough? Or do you feel
for my sweet wife, as I’ve grown numb to her pleadings?
In another universe this story might have ended well.

Very powerful imagery, Jack! It made me sad... intense read! Thanx for that!
fd

[billy]

i struggled with the 1st 3 lines,, mainly this part;
claims the body I’ve lent you.

and the fact it's a long line.

is it saying you lent the servant a body?

after that and the poem is a deep and emotionally strong piece of writing
the jealousy at the end adds is just perfect. the images, the originality of the lines.

I’ve fathered several children now. Perhaps that is my greatest sin,
breeding life out of death, the emotional wreckage my wife navigates,
moving among the socialites, trading quips on so-and-so’s blouse....are my faves though aprt from the quibble all the are
equally as good.

thanks for the read

[addy]

This was a great read. It painted a rich and fascinating emotional picture... it was interesting that though in this piece the narrator was declaring his love, there was still a patronising quality to his declaration, giving the ache of their distance more internal complexity than simply being "star-crossed".

[heslopian]

is it saying you lent the servant a body?

The narrator lent his body, which will eventually be claimed by death, through their love making sessions to the servant. Thanks for the feedback and kind words Billy.
Thanks also to ficos and Addy for theirs.
By the way, did anyone get that the lovers were supposed to be two men? I have a feeling I was a bit too subtle with that.

[billy]

stop it please jack it was pretty obvious, (to me it was)

you clutched the pillows, screamed my name, wept it
and I never shushed. Is this not devotion enough? Or do you feel
for my sweet wife,

Servant I cherish like a girl, why do you refuse my gifts,
the trinkets pushed beneath your door, the watch I strapped onto your wrist
when we first disgraced ourselves? I held close your sweating form,
muscles accrued in a labouring life, heaving armchairs,

and the fact it's a servant and not a servant girl or maid.

[heslopian]

I was just curious because I didn't actually mention any naughty bits. I'm not much for implication and subtelty

[kath3]

Wow ... and Wow again!
This was beautiful, deep and passionate ... I enjoyed every word, and the subtlety was perfect.
My only complaint is the last line and only because I wasn't ready for this piece to end.
Thank you Jack.

[addy]

All the little details put into context made it pretty clear it was a man (the description of their lovemaking, the extra-clandestine air to the affair, the fact that he was surprised that he managed to touch and impregnate his wife, etc), so yes, you successfully implied it Jack

[heslopian]

Thanks Addy