Identity
#1
I am a man, almost. Begin with that.
Root me in the ground like a tent peg.
Pull a loop over my head, attach it to a canvass roof
and the heads of other pegs. Make me a part of a whole.
I am the one my peers treat like a lover's pet,
which always pisses on the rug and demands attention.
An addendum we think of as a sacrifice.
As I drift off from reality, a red balloon in a cloudless sky,
pull me down and restore my humanness.
I want to be solid, like a tent peg.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#2
(04-26-2011, 12:19 PM)Heslopian Wrote:  I am a man, almost. Begin with that.
Root me in the ground like a tent peg.
Pull a loop over my head, attach it to a plastic roof
and the heads of other pegs. Make me a part of a whole.
I am the one my peers treat like a lover's pet,
which always pisses on the rug and demands attention.
An addendum we think of as a sacrifice.
As I drift off from reality, a red balloon in a cloudless sky,
pull me down and restore my humanness.
I want to be solid, like a tent peg.
i love the first two lines, it creates a great image.
and the symbolism of the third though i'd liked canvass to have been used instead of plastic for more than one reason.
the feeling of little worth is evident, the hunger to join in and be what the 1st person perceives to be normal feels immense.
the last line reaffirming the fact.
i really enjoyed the sadness and the emotional need i this jack.
not sure if it was intentional but it's what i took from it.
thanks for the read.

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#3
Canvass! That was the word I was looking for! I couldn't think what it was so I just said plastic. Thanks Billy. Thanks also for your very kind words.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#4
Imagery used at its sharpest and most effective. Fantastic work... one of my favorites
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#5
Wow thanks AddySmile I had to almost force this poem out of me like passing a kidney stone so that you like it so much is a wonderful surprise.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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