Overheard (v2.)

[matsunosuperfan]

Overheard

my favorite uncle and his brother
talking in the kitchen Sunday
about days like this
in Vietnam:

“Thing is,” my father’s voice, recognizable
as splitting skulls: “if you want an omelet, well
you’ve got to break some eggs.”

Favorite Uncle grunted, downed
his drink and clapped my father
hard, and it was almost Christmas, so I knew

it was the truth. Next morning, I heard my mother
mention Denver, so I flanked the sleeping kitchen,
climbed into the fridge

and went to work. In time the villagers
awoke, nobody was happy. That’s when I learned
not to trust a word a soldier says.

1st draft, minor changes 
Overheard

my favorite uncle and his brother
(that’s my father) talking
in the kitchen Sunday
about Vietnam:

“Thing is,” my father’s cracking
voice, “if you want an omelet, well
you’ve got to break some eggs.”

Favorite Uncle grunted, downed
his drink and slapped my father
hard, and it was almost Christmas, so I knew

it was the truth. Next morning, I heard my mother
mention “omelet,” so I flanked the sleeping kitchen,
climbed into the fridge

and went to work. Nobody
was happy. That’s when I learned
not to trust a word a soldier says.

[dukealien]

Definite improvement - love the implication in place of statement, and the way (if you think about it) the cliche curls back on itself (was dad following what he heard when he went into *that* village?)