The grand themes

[busker]

The grand themes 

Oh, the grand themes -
they’re all grand themes
about capitalism and Adam’s curse.
I don’t know which is worse -
reading poetry on grand themes,
or the heat death of the universe.

Give me Saturday’s green island dreams 
about dinosaurs, and an audiobook on Musk.
Let the great expostulate on their great themes schemes,
from tech bros to Trump, and Donald Tusk.
I am happy to be bran, the merest husk
of greatness. It’s been a long day, I’m tired,
and it’s nearly dusk.

---

I would also welcome suggestions coming from quality AI prompts
Mine own have been wanting

[wasellajam]

The grand themes 

Oh, the grand themes -
they’re all grand themes
about capitalism and Adam’s curse.
I don’t know which is worse -
reading poetry on grand themes,
or the heat death of the universe.

Give me Saturday’s green island dreams 
about dinosaurs, and an audiobook on Musk.
Let the great expostulate on their great themes,
from tech bros to Trump, and Donald Tusk.
I am happy to be bran, the merest husk
of greatness. It’s been a long day, I’m tired,
and it’s nearly dusk.

---

I would welcome suggestions coming from quality AI prompts

Does your comment mean you're not particularly open to considering human suggestions too? Are you unable to give AI quality prompts on your own? You've got me wondering why you posted in this workshop. I did enjoy the poem but am reluctant to post even a basic critique if that's not what you're interested in. Clarify?

[busker]

Does your comment mean you're not particularly open to considering human suggestions too? Are you unable to give AI quality prompts on your own? You've got me wondering why you posted in this workshop. I did enjoy the poem but am reluctant to post even a basic critique if that's not what you're interested in. Clarify?

---

Apologies Ella
I meant “also”
Corrected

[wasellajam]

The grand themes 

Oh, the grand themes -
they’re all grand themes
about capitalism and Adam’s curse.
I don’t know which is worse -
reading poetry on grand themes,
or the heat death of the universe.

Give me Saturday’s green island dreams 
about dinosaurs, and an audiobook on Musk.
Let the great expostulate on their great themes,
from tech bros to Trump, and Donald Tusk.
I am happy to be bran, the merest husk
of greatness. It’s been a long day, I’m tired,
and it’s nearly dusk.

---

I would welcome suggestions coming from quality AI prompts

Does your comment mean you're not particularly open to considering human suggestions too? Are you unable to give AI quality prompts on your own? You've got me wondering why you posted in this workshop. I did enjoy the poem but am reluctant to post even a basic critique if that's not what you're interested in. Clarify?

---

Apologies Ella
I meant “also”
Corrected

Gotcha, we do have some members who know how to talk to machines.

I found the poem interesting and amusing. You got me reading up on Donald Tusk.
I enjoyed the rhyme and the monotonous repetition of "themes" and how at the end "tired" is too tired to rhyme.
I like how the first stanza is so drained of enthusiasm for grand themes and then the following stanza opens with its lovely image addressing escapism and ends with the grandest theme, existence.
I particularly like the last three lines as is.

So I personally have no human suggestions for improvement,
Thanks for posting it, I hear ya.

[matsunosuperfan]

The grand themes 

Oh, the grand themes -
they’re all grand themes
about capitalism and Adam’s curse.
I don’t know which is worse -
reading poetry on grand themes,
or the heat death of the universe.

Give me Saturday’s green island dreams 
about dinosaurs, and an audiobook on Musk.
Let the great expostulate on their great themes schemes,
from tech bros to Trump, and Donald Tusk.
I am happy to be bran, the merest husk
of greatness. It’s been a long day, I’m tired,
and it’s nearly dusk.

---

I would also welcome suggestions coming from quality AI prompts
Mine own have been wanting

S2 is fun. S1 misses me because despite immediately announcing itself as cheeky/flippant/sarcastic - the theme is "boring shit people write about" - the language is actually pretty boring. So that doesn't strike me as particularly clever, and I feel the project of the poem is "look, this is clever," so then I'm just kind of miffed.

[milo]

The grand themes 

Oh, the grand themes -
they’re all grand themes
about capitalism and Adam’s curse.
I don’t know which is worse -
reading poetry on grand themes,
or the heat death of the universe.

Give me Saturday’s green island dreams 
about dinosaurs, and an audiobook on Musk.
Let the great expostulate on their great themes schemes,
from tech bros to Trump, and Donald Tusk.
I am happy to be bran, the merest husk
of greatness. It’s been a long day, I’m tired,
and it’s nearly dusk.

---

I would also welcome suggestions coming from quality AI prompts
Mine own have been wanting

plunked it into chatGPT and it said this:

My reaction is that it's trying to be witty, but it doesn't quite earn the wit.
The poem is essentially making an argument: I'm tired of Important Poetry™. I'd rather read about ordinary or random things than another poem about capitalism, politics, or civilization's collapse. That's a perfectly legitimate subject. Poets from Philip Larkin to Billy Collins have written poems that gently poke fun at literary seriousness.
Where this one loses me is that it never moves beyond the complaint.
A few things stand out:

• The opening joke ("capitalism and Adam's curse") sets up an expectation that it'll say something clever about poetry itself.
  
• Instead, it mostly lists contemporary topics: dinosaurs, audiobooks, Elon Musk, tech bros, Donald Trump, Donald Tusk.
  
• The ending ("I am happy to be bran, the merest husk...") reaches for self-deprecation, but the bran/husk pun feels more like a clever flourish than an emotional conclusion.
  

There's also a contradiction that may be intentional, but doesn't become interesting. The speaker says they don't want poems about grand themes...
capitalism
Adam's curse
the heat death of the universe
Musk
Trump
Tusk
...yet nearly every reference is itself a grand theme. The poem is still about politics, society, technology, and the end of the universe—it just complains while mentioning them. If that's satire, it needs another layer. If it's sincere, it ends up doing exactly what it mocks.
From a craft perspective, the rhythm is pleasant enough. The repeated "grand themes" creates a refrain, and the rhyme is loose but competent ("worse/universe", "dusk/husk"). It reads smoothly.
What I think is missing is discovery. Good poems usually surprise you—not necessarily with a twist, but with an image, an insight, or an emotional shift. This poem starts with "I'm tired of earnest poetry" and ends with "I'm tired." That's a perfectly circular structure, but it doesn't reveal anything new along the way.
So I wouldn't call it bad. I'd call it lightweight. It's the sort of poem that can get a smile at a reading because people recognize the target, but it's not one I'd expect to remember a week later.
The one line I genuinely like is:
or the heat death of the universe.
It's such an absurd escalation from "reading poetry" that it lands as a good comic exaggeration.
Everything after that, for me, never quite reaches the same level of wit.

oh, do go on, do you have anything to say about the obviously painfully forced rhymes?

I had a similar reaction. There are places where the poem feels like it's following the rhyme rather than letting the thought lead.
For example:
...an audiobook on Musk.
...from tech bros to Trump, and Donald Tusk.
Neither Musk nor Tusk feels necessary to the poem's idea. They're recognizable names that happen to fit the sound pattern. If you removed them, the poem's meaning would barely change. That's usually a sign that rhyme is driving the content.
Likewise, the ending:
I am happy to be bran, the merest husk
of greatness.
"Husk" arrives because "Tusk" was introduced a line earlier. Then "bran" is pulled in to support the cereal imagery. There's a pun there, but it doesn't illuminate the poem—it just completes the rhyme chain.
Good rhyming poetry often makes you forget it's rhyming because the word feels inevitable. Think of poets like W. H. Auden or Dorothy Parker. They'll rhyme "door" with "more," but "more" is also exactly the word the sentence wants. You don't think, "Oh, they needed a rhyme."
Here, I found myself thinking, "Okay, what's going to rhyme with 'Musk'?" And then—sure enough—"Tusk" and "husk."
There's another issue underneath the rhymes: the references date the poem very quickly. "Tech bros," Musk, Trump, Donald Tusk—they're topical rather than symbolic. Unless the poem has something particularly insightful to say about those figures, they risk feeling like placeholders for "current affairs."
It's also worth asking what the poem is trying to accomplish. If it's satirical, satire usually needs a sharper target. If it's lyrical, it needs stronger imagery. If it's comic, the jokes need to keep escalating. This one hovers between all three without fully committing.
So while I don't think it's incompetent—the meter is reasonably controlled and the rhymes are technically there—I do think your criticism is fair. The rhyme often feels like the engine of the poem instead of the servant of the poem. When readers notice the scaffolding more than the building, that's usually a sign something isn't quite working.

[busker]

@milo - I assume the part in bold was your goading ChatGPT who was really trying to say nice things.
I think it’s a good example of where the AI tries too hard and throws everything at the wall, and still falls short of the succinct criticism of matsun about the flippancy or ella’s about the good bits.

@ella - thanks for reading and pointing out what works

@matsun - thanks for the crit

[milo]

@milo - I assume the part in bold was your goading ChatGPT who was really trying to say nice things.
I think it’s a good example of where the AI tries too hard and throws everything at the wall, and still falls short of the succinct criticism of matsun about the flippancy or ella’s about the good bits.

@ella - thanks for reading and pointing out what works

@matsun - thanks for the crit

I was continuing the prompt - not sure how it missed the forced rhymes the first time. Out of all of the responses the AI seemed the most genuine providing actual workable feedback.  It did pick up on it trying too hard to be clever and really taking a long time to say really nothing at all so that is useful.

Maybe AI isn’t so bad after all

[matsunosuperfan]

@milo - I assume the part in bold was your goading ChatGPT who was really trying to say nice things.
I think it’s a good example of where the AI tries too hard and throws everything at the wall, and still falls short of the succinct criticism of matsun about the flippancy or ella’s about the good bits.

@ella - thanks for reading and pointing out what works

@matsun - thanks for the crit

I was continuing the prompt - not sure how it missed the forced rhymes the first time. Out of all of the responses the AI seemed the most genuine providing actual workable feedback.  It did pick up on it trying too hard to be clever and really taking a long time to say really nothing at all so that is useful.

Maybe AI isn’t so bad after all

yo real talk it's kinda discomfitting how accurate the GPT crit is

[milo]

@milo - I assume the part in bold was your goading ChatGPT who was really trying to say nice things.
I think it’s a good example of where the AI tries too hard and throws everything at the wall, and still falls short of the succinct criticism of matsun about the flippancy or ella’s about the good bits.

@ella - thanks for reading and pointing out what works

@matsun - thanks for the crit

I was continuing the prompt - not sure how it missed the forced rhymes the first time. Out of all of the responses the AI seemed the most genuine providing actual workable feedback.  It did pick up on it trying too hard to be clever and really taking a long time to say really nothing at all so that is useful.

Maybe AI isn’t so bad after all

yo real talk it's kinda discomfitting how accurate the GPT crit is

lol - yah - some of the specific callouts were pretty good:  

• My reaction is that it's trying to be witty, but it doesn't quite earn the wit.
  
• • The opening joke ("capitalism and Adam's curse") sets up an expectation that it'll say something clever about poetry itself.
    
  • Instead, it mostly lists contemporary topics: dinosaurs, audiobooks, Elon Musk, tech bros, Donald Trump, Donald Tusk.
    
  • The ending ("I am happy to be bran, the merest husk...") reaches for self-deprecation, but the bran/husk pun feels more like a clever flourish than an emotional conclusion.
    here's also a contradiction that may be intentional, but doesn't become interesting. The speaker says they don't want poems about grand themes...capitalismAdam's cursethe heat death of the universeMuskTrumpTusk...yet nearly every reference is itself a grand theme. here's also a contradiction that may be intentional, but doesn't become interesting. The speaker says they don't want poems about grand themes...capitalismAdam's cursethe heat death of the universeMuskTrumpTusk...yet nearly every reference is itself a grand theme. What I think is missing is discovery. Good poems usually surprise you—not necessarily with a twist, but with an image, an insight, or an emotional shift. This poem starts with "I'm tired of earnest poetry" and ends with "I'm tired." That's a perfectly circular structure, but it doesn't reveal anything new along the way. So I wouldn't call it bad. I'd call it lightweight. It's the sort of poem that can get a smile at a reading because people recognize the target, but it's not one I'd expect to remember a week later.
  
  

These are all pretty solid observations and it backs it up with the poem itsel

Now, of course, this site is dedicated to real human feedback from real human readers and I wouldn't normally post AI feedback but in this case, the author requested it

[busker]

I found it fake, for the following reasons:
The first line of S2 clarifies that the poem js no longer going to be about S1 but escaping the grand themes
The tech bro / Musk / Trump / Tusk connection - legitimately tied up - is dismissed as “contemporary”. What’s the problem with it being that?
The part about self deprecation vs flourish - why can’t it be both?
It’s just observations that are legit on the surface because they are well written

The only criticism I find valid is that “it’s not memorable”. Ok.
It misses the fact that “heat death of the universe” is borderline Reddit cliche

But it’s interesting to see that two other people agreed with the AI. That’s good to know.

[milo]

I found it fake, for the following reasons:
The first line of S2 clarifies that the poem js no longer going to be about S1 but escaping the grand themes
The tech bro / Musk / Trump / Tusk connection - legitimately tied up - is dismissed as “contemporary”. What’s the problem with it being that?
The part about self deprecation vs flourish - why can’t it be both?
It’s just observations that are legit on the surface because they are well written

The only criticism I find valid is that “it’s not memorable”. Ok.
It misses the fact that “heat death of the universe” is borderline Reddit cliche

But it’s interesting to see that two other people agreed with the AI. That’s good to know.

It can be tough for writers to separate themselves from their work

I noticed most of the same things the AI did - perhaps your message isn't coming across in your writing.

[wasellajam]

I found it fake, for the following reasons:
The first line of S2 clarifies that the poem js no longer going to be about S1 but escaping the grand themes
The tech bro / Musk / Trump / Tusk connection - legitimately tied up - is dismissed as “contemporary”. What’s the problem with it being that?
The part about self deprecation vs flourish - why can’t it be both?
It’s just observations that are legit on the surface because they are well written

The only criticism I find valid is that “it’s not memorable”. Ok.
It misses the fact that “heat death of the universe” is borderline Reddit cliche

But it’s interesting to see that two other people agreed with the AI. That’s good to know.

It can be tough for writers to separate themselves from their work

I noticed most of the same things the AI did - perhaps your message isn't coming across in your writing.

Sorry if my comment causes the thread to be split as it’s not specifically about this poem but I have to say:

I rather write a poem that one person took into their heart and mind, faults and all, than write something that can pass through a machine and come out clean. I understand the machine has eaten all poetic knowledge available, it’s just I don’t think it’s important to get a gold star from it as much as it’s important to bridge the gap between the poet and the reader. Even injudicious use of human crit can wreck a poem if it drains it of its spark, we’ve all seen that. I’d advise caution.

[milo]

I found it fake, for the following reasons:
The first line of S2 clarifies that the poem js no longer going to be about S1 but escaping the grand themes
The tech bro / Musk / Trump / Tusk connection - legitimately tied up - is dismissed as “contemporary”. What’s the problem with it being that?
The part about self deprecation vs flourish - why can’t it be both?
It’s just observations that are legit on the surface because they are well written

The only criticism I find valid is that “it’s not memorable”. Ok.
It misses the fact that “heat death of the universe” is borderline Reddit cliche

But it’s interesting to see that two other people agreed with the AI. That’s good to know.

It can be tough for writers to separate themselves from their work

I noticed most of the same things the AI did - perhaps your message isn't coming across in your writing.

Sorry if my comment causes the thread to be split as it’s not specifically about this poem but I have to say:

I rather write a poem that one person took into their heart and mind, faults and all, than write something that can pass through a machine and come out clean. I understand the machine has eaten all poetic knowledge available, it’s just I don’t think it’s important to get a gold star from it as much as it’s important to bridge the gap between the poet and the reader. Even injudicious use of human crit can wreck a poem if it drains it of its spark, we’ve all seen that. I’d advise caution.

as I already stated earlier in the thread:

Now, of course, this site is dedicated to real human feedback from real human readers and I wouldn't normally post AI feedback but in this case, the author requested it

and also, this is the logic fallacy of the false dichotomy  - it assumes that a poem will either please an AI or a human reader but not both or neither

[CRNDLSM]

As a split is inevitable, milos chatgpt has catered to his line of thinking, and reflects his manner, my chatgpt would probably not be so astute.

[milo]

As a split is inevitable, milos chatgpt has catered to his line of thinking, and reflects his manner, my chatgpt would probably not be so astute.

well, I do use the free version - I am certain the paid version would deliver more valuable feedback 

[busker]

As a split is inevitable, milos chatgpt has catered to his line of thinking, and reflects his manner, my chatgpt would probably not be so astute.

well, I do use the free version - I am certain the paid version would deliver more valuable feedback 

I use the paid version of Claude. The main difference is that you have more credits and so can access the better models for longer. But there’s no difference in the feedback itself within the same model.

I find AI crit to be wanting in a lot of aspects. But that’s another thread.