Winter Ballad

[RichardBosten]

As winter cast her blanket down,               
A woven white I see.                       
In cover felt on shimmered earth,           
A linen just for me.                     

Her chilling breath is but a song;             
A melody so true.                               
She joins the chorus in refrain,             
And sings with winds anew.
               
Of tempers she has many though,             
We prithee joyful be.                   
For Loving eyes or furrowed brow,         
Her mood we've yet to see.               

Her leaving is a sad affair.             
As tears soon melt away.                 
They flood the ground from all around,   
And leave a puddled grey. 

               


This was a meter exercise to learn common meter / ballad form.
I did find 1 exception  in " A mel| o dy| so true|" iambic phyric iambic if I understand feet correctly .
I left it since it is a ballad and happily landed on the line about music. It works well there.

By your leave, thou must pardon the use of prithee ...

[Mostly Holy]

What a lovely poem! I think you have nailed the meter, tho I tend to want to read "A melody so true." as two iambs followed by a Pyrrhic, or a soft iamb, "ME-lo-DY" naturally carries two heavy stresses I think, and if you wanted to make it firmly iambic trimeter, perhaps you could swap "true" for a word that ends on a mute, to force a heavier stress there?

[RichardBosten]

What a lovely poem! I think you have nailed the meter, tho I tend to want to read "A melody so true." as two iambs followed by a Pyrrhic, or a soft iamb, "ME-lo-DY" naturally carries two heavy stresses I think, and if you wanted to make it firmly iambic trimeter, perhaps you could swap "true" for a word that ends on a mute, to force a heavier stress there?

Thanks  . 
Ill look at ending with a mute . May be tricky to fit the rhyme scheme .
I could make it more contrasting to illustrate a change(winters melody) Or use a dash.
 I am just trying to better grasp Scansion which is how i noticed it .
I don't mind the way it reads at all. It makes sense there, but i want to learn from it.

Thanks again !
I see it now . I think it is a soft iamb "so true"

[busker]

As winter cast her blanket down,               
A woven white I see.                       
In cover felt on shimmered earth,           
A linen just for me.                     

Her chilling breath is but a song;             
A melody so true.                               
She joins the chorus in refrain,             
And sings with winds anew.
               
Of tempers she has many though,             
We prithee joyful be.                   
For Loving eyes or furrowed brow,         
Her mood we've yet to see.               

Her leaving is a sad affair.             
As tears soon melt away.                 
They flood the ground from all around,   
And leave a puddled grey. 

               


This was a meter exercise to learn common meter / ballad form.
I did find 1 exception  in " A mel| o dy| so true|" iambic phyric iambic if I understand feet correctly .
I left it since it is a ballad and happily landed on the line about music. It works well there.

By your leave, thou must pardon the use of prithee ...

'prithee' is an address ('pray thee...'), and is not to be used in the third person.

[RichardBosten]

As winter cast her blanket down,               
A woven white I see.                       
In cover felt on shimmered earth,           
A linen just for me.                     

Her chilling breath is but a song;             
A melody so true.                               
She joins the chorus in refrain,             
And sings with winds anew.
               
Of tempers she has many though,             
We prithee joyful be.                   
For Loving eyes or furrowed brow,         
Her mood we've yet to see.               

Her leaving is a sad affair.             
As tears soon melt away.                 
They flood the ground from all around,   
And leave a puddled grey. 

               


This was a meter exercise to learn common meter / ballad form.
I did find 1 exception  in " A mel| o dy| so true|" iambic phyric iambic if I understand feet correctly .
I left it since it is a ballad and happily landed on the line about music. It works well there.

By your leave, thou must pardon the use of prithee ...

'prithee' is an address ('pray thee...'), and is not to be used in the third person.

Thank you.!! Ill fix it. I was kind of on the fence about it and really only left it there for fun not realizing the grammatical error.
Thanks for Taking time to help.
Edit Below

As winter cast her blanket down,               
A woven white I see.                       
In cover felt on shimmered earth,           
A linen just for me.                     

Her chilling breath is but a song;             
A melody so true.                               
She joins the chorus in refrain,             
And sings with winds anew.
               
Of tempers she has many though,             
we pray her, joyful be.                   
For Loving eyes or furrowed brow,         
Her mood we've yet to see.               

Her leaving is a sad affair.             
As tears soon melt away.                 
They flood the ground from all around,   
And leave a puddled grey.