Insecurity
#1
Sometimes
My brain latches onto 
certain thoughts
The intrusive thoughts
The taunting thoughts


I push them away
Or attempt to anyway…
But they never fade
Whispering
Their meaningless opinions
In the darkest corners of my mind


Honestly though
It’s easier 
to hear these things
From the made up voices in my head
Rather than those I care about


Like if my best friend


Told me my poems mean
nothing
My heart would shatter
into millions of tiny pieces
Skittering across the linoleum floor
My body soon following
With a sickening thud


But if YOU
You little rascal 
in my head
Told me my life means nothing
I would laugh at you
Because you can’t even say it to my face
Because you’re literally me!


Insecurity is its own person
A “fearsome” entity we think 
we can’t control
But when it comes down to it
Insecurity is literally just us
Talking down on ourselves


Because we’re scared.


We give into ourselves
We give into our doubts
Because we don’t wanna believe
You earned that right
That award
That honorable mention you worked so damn hard for


You give into the Insecurity
And you hate yourself for it later
But insecurity is human
And we’re only human; we don’t know
How to be
Anything but.

I'm somewhat skeptical about my line breaks and rhythm since I write free verse, so if you guys have any feedback to help with that, I'd appreciate it so much!  Big Grin
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#2
I really like the theme of this poem. My advice would be to play with structure I feel like some readers will have a hard time with finding the flow within this structure. Also I'd suggest messing with your delivery. It's could be a bit more concise with less repetition. It might make your points more powerful.

Anywho thanks for the read
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
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#3
(10-08-2025, 01:27 AM)Bunx Wrote:  I really like the theme of this poem. My advice would be to play with structure I feel like some readers will have a hard time with finding the flow within this structure. Also I'd suggest messing with your delivery. It's could be a bit more concise with less reputation. It might make your points more powerful.

Anywho thanks for the read

Thank you so very much! I'll do my best to implement your advice! Smile
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#4
really like the openness and honesty here. The voice feels very human — like the reader is hearing a real internal conversation, not a performance.

The middle section (“Like if my best friend…”) hit me hardest. It captures that fear of being dismissed by someone we care about better than a lot of poems I’ve read on the same theme.

If you ever revise, you might experiment with tightening a few of the shorter lines just for flow — maybe combine a few that naturally run together when read aloud. But that’s minor; the strength is in how genuine this feels.

Overall, I appreciate that you didn’t hide behind metaphor. You said something real, and that always lands with me.
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