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03-11-2024, 10:49 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-12-2024, 04:47 AM by Tiger the Lion.)
Edit (Duke)
no winter this year
and while the glaciers suffered--
suicides declined
Original
no winter this year
and while the glaciers got fucked--
suicides declined
Thanks Duke.
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The point is clear and pungent enough, but maybe "lost out" ... ?
From where I'm sitting, it wasn't so much no winter (plenty of that in Dec-Jan, and darned frigid) as an early Spring. Which means all those averted suicides will be lining up at the gas stoves, airtight garages and overpasses "for love" in a few weeks.
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(03-11-2024, 09:32 PM)dukealien Wrote: The point is clear and pungent enough, but maybe "lost out" ... ?
From where I'm sitting, it wasn't so much no winter (plenty of that in Dec-Jan, and darned frigid) as an early Spring. Which means all those averted suicides will be lining up at the gas stoves, airtight garages and overpasses "for love" in a few weeks.
Thanks Duke. Here it feels like winter gave up trying. Edit posted.
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(03-12-2024, 04:46 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: (03-11-2024, 09:32 PM)dukealien Wrote: The point is clear and pungent enough, but maybe "lost out" ... ?
From where I'm sitting, it wasn't so much no winter (plenty of that in Dec-Jan, and darned frigid) as an early Spring. Which means all those averted suicides will be lining up at the gas stoves, airtight garages and overpasses "for love" in a few weeks.
Thanks Duke. Here it feels like winter gave up trying. Edit posted.
Like the edit - implies a transfer from the suffering non-suicides. Good connection.
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I feel that the 'no winter' should be the punchline.
Something like the one below, but 'suffered' and 'declined' are insufficiently poetic
the glaciers suffered
but suicides declined --
no winter this year
The earth suffered, but humanity benefits. Nice piece.