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3-10-24 - Printable Version +- Poetry Forum (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com) +-- Forum: Poetry Forum (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/forum-1.html) +--- Forum: Haiku, Senryu, Short Form Poetry. (https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/forum-58.html) +--- Thread: 3-10-24 (/thread-25505.html) |
3-10-24 - Tiger the Lion - 03-11-2024 Edit (Duke) no winter this year and while the glaciers suffered-- suicides declined Original no winter this year and while the glaciers got fucked-- suicides declined Thanks Duke. RE: 3-10-24 - dukealien - 03-11-2024 The point is clear and pungent enough, but maybe "lost out" ... ? From where I'm sitting, it wasn't so much no winter (plenty of that in Dec-Jan, and darned frigid) as an early Spring. Which means all those averted suicides will be lining up at the gas stoves, airtight garages and overpasses "for love" in a few weeks. RE: 3-10-24 - Tiger the Lion - 03-12-2024 (03-11-2024, 09:32 PM)dukealien Wrote: The point is clear and pungent enough, but maybe "lost out" ... ?Thanks Duke. Here it feels like winter gave up trying. Edit posted. RE: 3-10-24 - dukealien - 03-12-2024 (03-12-2024, 04:46 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:Like the edit - implies a transfer from the suffering non-suicides. Good connection.(03-11-2024, 09:32 PM)dukealien Wrote: The point is clear and pungent enough, but maybe "lost out" ... ?Thanks Duke. Here it feels like winter gave up trying. Edit posted. RE: 3-10-24 - busker - 03-12-2024 I feel that the 'no winter' should be the punchline. Something like the one below, but 'suffered' and 'declined' are insufficiently poetic the glaciers suffered but suicides declined -- no winter this year RE: 3-10-24 - Michaelpoet - 03-19-2024 The earth suffered, but humanity benefits. Nice piece. |