Broken Piccolo

[LiteraryAntiquity]

Broken Piccolo
Their notes devoured me -
with words confirmed in tongue twisters and arching, back-handed compliments.
I was simple.

As I
with fluid,
lazy hands
played them
like an acoustic guitar, moving their muscles and their lies.
He -
my strings,
my bow,
living instrument.

Donnie called 'Cellar Door' the most beautiful line in the world.

We are dumbed to choosing only two beautiful words. That is truly simple.
My strange,
audible heart
is jumping
over unsafe,
electrical wires.

Broken Piccolo.

You have
been perfect.

Angelic ambulance.

Forgotten man.

See love.

Speak love.

Hear love.

Feel it.

Breathe it.

Take it.

Broken Piccolo.
My strangled,
bruised, tainted,
broken piccolo.
There are
times I
would never
want to
fix you.

[billy]

Broken Piccolo
Their notes devoured me -
with words confirmed in tongue twisters and arching, back-handed compliments.
I was simple.

As I
with fluid,
lazy hands
played them
like an acoustic guitar, moving their muscles and their lies.
He -
my strings,
my bow,
living instrument.

Donnie called 'Cellar Door' the most beautiful line in the world.

We are dumbed to choosing only two beautiful words. That is truly simple.
My strange,
audible heart
is jumping
over unsafe,
electrical wires.

Broken Piccolo.

You have
been perfect.

Angelic ambulance.

Forgotten man.

See love.

Speak love.

Hear love.

Feel it.

Breathe it.

Take it.

Broken Piccolo.
My strangled,
bruised, tainted,
broken piccolo.
There are
times I
would never
want to
fix you.

i' struggling to give to give any negatives with this one L.A. while it feels like the poet is writing about a real piccolo, i also get a feeling the piccolo is also being used as a metaphor. (it's okay if it isn't )

the last verse is very poignant and it's that verse that makes me think the poem is deeper than it appears. i also like the form, it's like the poem is being played on a piccolo and being translated into text.
thanks for the enjoyable read. jmo

[heslopian]

I agree with Billy, no real negatives here, just a very potent and nicely stylised piece of verse, dense and mysterious like a lot of your work, but with a tad more control (the lines aren't as long) this time around, which shows you're trying to improve as a writer, and succeeding marvellously.

[LiteraryAntiquity]

I agree with Billy, no real negatives here, just a very potent and nicely stylised piece of verse, dense and mysterious like a lot of your work, but with a tad more control (the lines aren't as long) this time around, which shows you're trying to improve as a writer, and succeeding marvellously.

Thank you Heslo'