Cinquains

[philip]

Cinquains

too soon

we come to pass

yet linger within doubt

lick our fingertips and snuff out

the stars

too late

should we atone

stop the clock, hold the day

embrace the rock and roll away

the stone

[Semicircle]

Cinquains

too soon

we come to pass

yet linger within doubt

                             lick our fingertips and snuff out          best line

the stars

too late

should we atone

stop the clock, hold the day

embrace the rock and roll away

the stone

This is an excellent metaphor on giving up on dreams and settling on life.

I had to read this a couple times to understand, which I really like in poems,
especially if they can keep my attention like yours did.

Thanks for the read,
SC.

[Knot]

.
Hi Phillip,
enjoyed the read.


Wondered if it might be worth switching the order of the verses, as the last two lines of S1 are very strong (less so S2)?


Best, Knot


.