Posts: 254
Threads: 137
Joined: Feb 2022
Leave me be.
I don't affect
the grass,
clouds,
or tides of the sea.
I'm just a man
sitting under a tree.
So please,
leave me be.
Posts: 326
Threads: 90
Joined: Apr 2013
Hi, I like the sentiment in this poem. I've left some thoughts.
(03-11-2022, 04:24 AM)Semicircle Wrote: Leave me be, - perhaps a full stop here
I don't effect - do you mean 'affect'?
the grass,
the clouds, - could drop 'the'
or the tides in the sea. - part of line seems redundant but if keeping it should be 'of the sea'
I'm just a man
sitting under a tree.
So please,
leave me be.
Cheers for the read,
Mark
wae aye man ye radgie
Posts: 254
Threads: 137
Joined: Feb 2022
(03-11-2022, 06:27 AM)ambrosial revelation Wrote: Hi, I like the sentiment in this poem. I've left some thoughts.
(03-11-2022, 04:24 AM)Semicircle Wrote: Leave me be, - perhaps a full stop here
I don't effect - do you mean 'affect'?
the grass,
the clouds, - could drop 'the'
or the tides in the sea. - part of line seems redundant but if keeping it should be 'of the sea'
I'm just a man
sitting under a tree.
So please,
leave me be.
Cheers for the read,
Mark
Thanks, appreciate it.