Ukraine
#1
Ukraine

I am watching the news
about the valiant people of Ukraine
and find myself crying
that I cannot take a stand.

Never in my lifetime was there such a time.

This is a historic time;
when good people rise up
against tyranny and fear
no matter the cost

and I am old and can barely stand.

Never has anything
thrown my life of ease,
comfort and selfishness
back in my face so starkly.

May Ukraine prevail. May Putin go to Hell!
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#2
(02-28-2022, 02:03 AM)Erthona Wrote:  Ukraine

I am watching the news
about the valiant people of Ukraine
and find myself crying
that I cannot take a stand.

Never in my lifetime was there such a time.

This is a historic time;
when good people rise up
against tyranny and fear
no matter the cost,

and I am oldĀ and can barely stand.

Never has anything
thrown my life of ease,
comfort and selfishness
back in my face so starkly.

May Ukraine prevail. May Putin go to Hell!

Purely as a poem - respecting the sentiment that went into the full piece - I think it reads better pared down.

Pardon the liberties taken with your poem -
as Scipio pardoned Gracchus,
as Hitler pardoned Roehm.
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#3
"as Scipio pardoned Gracchus,
as Hitler pardoned Roehm. "

No need of a pardon as Shakespeare said in MSND: "for when the players are all dead, there needs none to be blamed."


I tend to agree, or at least would in terms of critiquing this as purely a poem. In this instance the four lines ending on the penultimate is a concise synopsis of the rest of the poem. That is, an event can occur that changes ones perspective in an instant: a transformative event, or spiritual experience. Of course one does open oneself to sentiment when such occurs, something most often frowned upon in poetry. In this case however, I can find no other way to express what I need to express.

Thanks for the critique,

dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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