Less than a second

[Semicircle]

Secreting down each hair follicle,
pulsating through each vein,
exhales against the window pane;
astigmatism stretches like elastic.


Welling thoughts overflow:
no chance to survive
taking a nosedive,
light conquers the door.


Lunging up, 
striking down

Bloody mess
soaked into the gravel–
sprawled over in a broken heep–
illuminated by car headlights.



 2.) Edit

Secreting down each hair follicle,
pulsating through each vein,
exhales against the window pane;
astigmatism stretches like elastic.


Welling thoughts overflow:
taking a nosedive,
light conquers door.


Blood mess
soaked into gravel–
a broken heep–
illuminated by headlights.

[rowens]

Secreting down each hair follicle,
pulsating through each vein,

This sounds like the liquid dimensions of living.

exhales against the window pane;

Fog. Glass, reflection. Exhales fog up the very you.
I like how you are and could further play around with this concept and image.



astigmatism stretches like elastic.

Astigmatism is a word that demands attention. A blasting thing. A freakword. Like me


Welling thoughts overflow:

And that is a good phrase.


no chance to survive,

taking a nosedive,

the demon of rhyme


light conquers the door.


Lunging up, 
Striking down.


Bloody mess
soaked into the gravel–
sprawled over in a broken heep– red ziggly line


I get a feeling the words in this line were important to you



illuminated by car headlights.