Posts: 894
Threads: 176
Joined: Jan 2021
Mazed day
two plus two clouds
inside synchronous blue
paroxysms
attends to
hour glass burial, photosynthetic surfaces
slung open slant-wise
where Hell hinged on sacrifice
drags against clay fingers.
Acid etched, sinful breaths
border spliced machinery
lost awfulness shallowed into thirds
laps up metallic utopian tongues.
A singed river with lunged banks
swallows birdsong sands.
Undenied psalms turn outward
to prisoned night
so right so bright
undeserved path to nerve songs
and severed blinds.
Posts: 39
Threads: 49
Joined: Aug 2021
I have no idea what I have just read and I have read it over five times. I'll read it five more because the words are really entoxicating. This seems like it's almost splicing between real life and the virtual world. My best guess is this plays out somewhat like a black mirror episode, excuse my comparison; just a religious wasteland of tradition and oppression.
Some, or probably most, of the deeper clues allude me though. Espescially the historical ones.
Some questions:
Does an hourglass burial refer to the loading icon on a computer screen? (If that is the case, that is very clever)
Is this a dystopia of sorts, how does religion tie into this?
Posts: 695
Threads: 139
Joined: Jun 2015
telegrammatic reply
roof off -stop-
water deep -stop-
snakes in -stop-
no power -stop-
need boats -stop-
hard wind rain -stop-
-stop-
please
-stop-
Posts: 894
Threads: 176
Joined: Jan 2021
10-03-2021, 12:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-03-2021, 01:14 PM by TranquillityBase.)
(10-02-2021, 03:40 PM)Kerbonzo_beenz Wrote: I have no idea what I have just read and I have read it over five times. I'll read it five more because the words are really entoxicating. This seems like it's almost splicing between real life and the virtual world. My best guess is this plays out somewhat like a black mirror episode, excuse my comparison; just a religious wasteland of tradition and oppression.
Some, or probably most, of the deeper clues allude me though. Espescially the historical ones.
Your guess is as good as mine. The jury in my head is still out as to whether it means anything. I will say that writing it felt like a breakthrough of some kind.
Some questions:
Does an hourglass burial refer to the loading icon on a computer screen? (If that is the case, that is very clever). so, no I ain't that clever
Is this a dystopia of sorts, how does religion tie into this? Definite dystopia....that much I will confess to
KB, thanks for your reads, and kind words. I'm only vaguely aware of Black Mirror but the comparison doesn't bother me. I'm a TV baby. Thanks again for replying.
TqB
(10-02-2021, 09:30 PM)Mark A Becker Wrote: telegrammatic reply
roof off -stop-
water deep -stop-
snakes in -stop-
no power -stop-
need boats -stop-
hard wind rain -stop-
-stop-
please
-stop-
can't _stop_
