a damn
#1
a damn

In Eden I nod
wondering if God
will stop by and say
Good Boy.
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#2
(07-04-2021, 10:35 PM)Erthona Wrote:  a damn

In Eden I nod
wondering if God
will stop by and say
Good Boy.

Oh!  What a lot of possible directions this could go, all so different (an advantage of short form).

For example, what am I (the speaker)?  Am I a dog in the here and now, living in Eden, waiting for that ultimate compliment from the Man with the Can Opener?

Or is it way back when, making a point that before the blamed Tree, Man may have been the Crown of Creation, but he was still a dog to God - God's Best Friend, as it were (which is why Lucifer was so upset, but leave that for another day).

Alternatively, it could be a veiled complaint that Heaven (but it was Eden, right?) isn't going to be much fun if the only stroke going is an occasional pat on the head from the Master.  In Eden uninterpreted, this could be an argument but put by the Serpent, or a hesitant and doubtful response to its arguments.

Deftly done.  And kudos for leaving the rhyme incomplete by not appending "today" at the end of L4!  Thumbsup
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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#3
Thanks Duke, glad you enjoyed it and got a lot from it. That's always appreciated.

dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#4
(07-04-2021, 10:35 PM)Erthona Wrote:  a damn

In Eden I nod
wondering if God
will stop by and say
Good Boy.

Nice one Dale, 

It makes me think about Blake and "Nobodaddy".
Wondering if 'nod' is related to the 'land of nod', nod is from the Hebrew meaning to wander which works well.
Anyway, great title and an interesting read,

thanks,

Mark
feedback award way aye man
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