Speech Paradise
#1
The reputable man and his status
makes me think of his undeniable ego.
He suppresses his thoughts, gives a questionable speech.
He thinks, curls his ugly fingers over this hair.
Continues to make the dialogue, loves life inside and out.
The way his mouth sinks with his tongue carries a stutter.
He can’t talk, muffled words, octave words flattening.
He tries to sing, he can’t, thoughts out the window.
He comes and goes, appearing to make a speech.
Though he is agitated, none can wait for the breath
coming out of his mouth, the touch gone, magic gone.
Though to his problem, his existence leaves them alone.
Speech over.
 
After his days of the speech, he listens to a recording.
The hour leaves his body, he makes a dying laugh.
The reputable man has ruined face, looks terrifying
like Igor from a fairy tale, he thinks of myself lovingly.
But never mind the struggle, he needs to make another
speech, hopefully he can do it this time.
Another day had passed, he ends up being tickled by
a lover, never he had experience hospitality than from
the woman he loved, as ugly as him.
The speech will begin again, says the ugly man,
and so, he practices and does a little jig to boost his
confidence up, the audience waits.
The audience cling to their head and wait.
And wait, then and then they laugh.
Trying to deal with the man and his stupidity.
Speech begun.
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#2
Your poems have matter of factness about them, and humor that seems intentionallyunintentional, commonplace to the point of absurdity, like anxiety and selfshitting and things unravelling or falling apart right from the beginning and all turning out OK.

That's your style.

Do you think so?
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#3
(05-06-2021, 05:31 AM)rowens Wrote:  Your poems have matter of factness about them, and humor that seems intentionallyunintentional, commonplace to the point of absurdity, like anxiety and selfshitting and things unravelling or falling apart right from the beginning and all turning out OK.

That's your style.

Do you think so?

I guess you could say that, I like the absurd.
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#4
(05-05-2021, 01:23 PM)Majestic Sun Wrote:  The reputable man and his status
makes me think of his undeniable ego.
He suppresses his thoughts, gives a questionable speech.
He thinks, curls his ugly fingers over this hair.
Continues to make the dialogue, loves life inside and out.    his
The way his mouth sinks with his tongue carries a stutter.
He can’t talk, out come muffled words, octave words flattening.
He tries to sing, he can’t, thoughts drop out the window.
He comes and goes, appearing to make a speech.
Though he is agitated, none can wait for the breath
coming out of his mouth, the touch gone, magic gone.
Though to his problem, his existence leaves them alone.  But at least
Speech over.
 
After his days of the speech, he listens to a recording.
The hour leaves his body, he makes a dying laugh.
The reputable man has a ruined face, looks terrifying
like Igor from a fairy tale, he thinks of myself lovingly.   me
But never mind the struggle, he needs to make another
speech, hopefully he can do it this time.
Another day had passed, he ends up being tickled by
a lover, never he had experience hospitality except from. had he experienced
the woman he loved, as ugly as him.
The speech will begin again, says the ugly man,
and so, he practices and does a little jig to boost his
confidence up, the audience waits.
The audience cling to their head and wait.
And wait, then and then they laugh.
Trying to deal with the man and his stupidity.
Speech begun. begins again

Majestic, here are some suggestions in keeping with what Rowens said.  I think the absurd matter of factness of this piece is worth preserving.  Good to see you write in more natural line lengths too.
"Poetry is the rhythmic, inevitably narrative, movement from an overclothed blindness to a naked vision."  Dylan Thomas
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#5
(05-06-2021, 12:21 PM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  
(05-05-2021, 01:23 PM)Majestic Sun Wrote:  The reputable man and his status
makes me think of his undeniable ego.
He suppresses his thoughts, gives a questionable speech.
He thinks, curls his ugly fingers over this hair.
Continues to make the dialogue, loves life inside and out.    his
The way his mouth sinks with his tongue carries a stutter.
He can’t talk, out come muffled words, octave words flattening.
He tries to sing, he can’t, thoughts drop out the window.
He comes and goes, appearing to make a speech.
Though he is agitated, none can wait for the breath
coming out of his mouth, the touch gone, magic gone.
Though to his problem, his existence leaves them alone.  But at least
Speech over.
 
After his days of the speech, he listens to a recording.
The hour leaves his body, he makes a dying laugh.
The reputable man has a ruined face, looks terrifying
like Igor from a fairy tale, he thinks of myself lovingly.   me
But never mind the struggle, he needs to make another
speech, hopefully he can do it this time.
Another day had passed, he ends up being tickled by
a lover, never he had experience hospitality except from. had he experienced
the woman he loved, as ugly as him.
The speech will begin again, says the ugly man,
and so, he practices and does a little jig to boost his
confidence up, the audience waits.
The audience cling to their head and wait.
And wait, then and then they laugh.
Trying to deal with the man and his stupidity.
Speech begun. begins again

Majestic, here are some suggestions in keeping with what Rowens said.  I think the absurd matter of factness of this piece is worth preserving.  Good to see you write in more natural line lengths too.

Oh why thank you, most of it was written on paper then typed up so that is how I wrote it.
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