07-23-2020, 05:06 AM
Blimp
This is more than just
hot air
I am membrane
engorged with oxyhydrogen
and you
are ready flint
This is more than just
hot air
I am membrane
engorged with oxyhydrogen
and you
are ready flint
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Blimp
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07-23-2020, 05:06 AM
Blimp
This is more than just hot air I am membrane engorged with oxyhydrogen and you are ready flint
07-23-2020, 05:30 AM
07-23-2020, 06:14 AM
The play between literal, figurative, and hyperbolic language is really pleasing.
*more* than just hot air - it is indeed I have the tiniest, pickiest, most borish question: Is it "I am membrane" or "I am a membrane"? (07-23-2020, 05:06 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Blimp (07-23-2020, 05:16 AM)JaggedEdge Wrote: Ready flint? Do you think it's flint like for making fire, Flint as in Flint, Michigan . . . or is it his douchebag friend Flint that is a blimp captain?
07-27-2020, 06:05 AM
"you are spark-in-waiting," perhaps, if flint confuses?
Non-practicing atheist
07-28-2020, 02:06 AM
(07-23-2020, 05:06 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: BlimpHey guys, thanks for reading and commenting. I wanted to leave a note on your comments just to clarify some choices - good or bad. @Val. "I am membrane" felt more immediate, more hollow - also graduates the line from simile to metaphor (to my ear) - same reason I didn't say "a ready flint" Doesn't mean my choices were sound @Duke "spark" has it's appeal for clarity, but it was too difficult to disguise its cliche. If "flint" was a distraction, I think I'm a little guilty of knowing it might be.
01-09-2021, 12:01 PM
Hello-
It seems the first 3 letters in your title might as well be tru instead of bli That said, blimp is a pretty apt description. And, oh my, can the ever ready flint spark some nasty explosions. Could be I'm all wrong in my interpretation, but that's my take and I'm sticking to it:any poem is in the eye of the beholder. Thanks, Mark (01-09-2021, 12:01 PM)Mark A Becker Wrote: Hello- Now that I see the link you posted, I feel more confident in my interpretation, Though I'd have been happy to have been left wondering. |
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