Annunciation

[busker]

Annunciation

You are just a promise now,
a rose of new beginnings,
and the ocean falls into an abyss.

And you are the leafing stalk,
a hope of new beginnings,
where the ocean falls into an abyss.

[rowens]

I've interpreted this a few different ways. It's so short, that's saying something. Your main objects, if they're symbols, can have a religio-mystic connotation. But it could be about something more mundane. If 'about' is what it is. Depending on the first line, the tone you read it in, it could, can, be, is, cyclical.

It's the "hope of", and the "hope" for. The very hope. Or the hope is split off between the commas, as a comment and not a description. Well, any of those things. And more.

[busker]

Thanks, rowen. It’s and more ambiguous than what my original intention was, and the length is probably underdone.
I’ll work on it and workshop it.

[billy]

i agree with rowens, it feels like a start of a poem , at present it reads as a 2 lines short of a triolet without the rhymes. personally i would attempt to add another 5 or 6 stanzas to flesh it out.

[RiverNotch]

My main gripe is that this doesn't say anything yet, although I'm prolly blinded by a really big issue. Considering 'annunciation', 'promise', 'rose', 'hope', etc, this can't help but be read as something Judeo-Christian, which means the last line of each triolet is pointless: the ocean *is* the abyss. And that may very well be what makes this mute.

[rowens]

Busker, if you had just assumed my rosicrucian interpretion you could've gotten away with the world's most condensed translation of the Sefer Yetzirah. Now you have to go through the hassle of making sense to people.

[Quixilated]

This is a very lovely poem, it seems to be one of those just vague enough for each reader to find their own meaning.  I see in it (probably because of the title) a story about the discovery of a baby to be.  It could be read religiously as a reflection on the actual annunciation. But it could also be read as a reflection on any conception and the feelings of awe and hope and trepidation that can accompany such an announcement.  At least this is what it says to me, though it could very easily be made to fit other "new beginning" situations.

I love the repetition and the hopeful tone.  I especially like "leafing stalk" (another possible mother/child image).   Also, both instances, so sudden, of "where the ocean falls into an abyss."  It perfectly expresses that feeling one gets in the pit of the stomach when big changes (even good ones) are around the corner.

[Mark A Becker]

Since this is MISC, I'll only say that the rose/ocean mix just mixed me up. Seems like a stretch in search of clarity. But don't mind me, as I often don't "get it."

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Everything points to Jesus, I'm guessing, even though I'm not convinced.