Who says that leaves are green
#21
Someone wise said, 'what seems to be, is, to those to whom it seems to be.'
Alan Watts said, " as if trees are made out of wood.'
I like the idea of a self written and self authorized index
of what one calls their experience in this otherwise un-named place.
Right/wrong and good/bad are relative and always will be.
Very nice.
Shokna
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#22
(04-24-2018, 10:45 PM)Cassiopeia88 Wrote:  Who says that leaves are green
Or sky is blue?<============== this line seems kinds of short. i feel like it doesn't match the "or night is immanently dark" line. maybe add an adverb before blue?
Who says that days are always light
Or night is immanently dark?
 
Who says what anything is really like?<===== i would say defines instead of says. it would put more emphasis on this line which would be good because this line begins the moral of the poem

Who says I have to be like you?
Who says you have to be like me?
For your green may be my blue
My light may not be light for you<=== my light may be dark for you?
 
… and my colors change as seasons go. <==== a bit of an abrupt ending. maybe you can expand on it somehow? 

anyways, this is a really beautiful poem and i loving its meaning and message
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#23
the questions feel to glib for socro, he formed his questions with more depth and understanding of the mind.
[do people say leaves are "always" green.] the questions you pose all have too simplistic an answer; "no one does" and the single line; everyone. the last line is probably the best but feels forced. for me the poem needs to fit that last line and make it less forced.

(04-24-2018, 10:45 PM)Cassiopeia88 Wrote:  Who says that leaves are green
Or sky is blue?
Who says that days are always light
Or night is immanently dark?
 
Who says what anything is really like?

Who says I have to be like you?
Who says you have to be like me?
For your green may be my blue
My light may not be light for you
 
… and my colors change as seasons go.
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#24
I really enjoyed this one. It made me feel like I was in my room after an argument just ruminating. Absolutely beautiful. I would say that it felt a bit odd for the blue/you rhyme at the end since it's the only place that rhymed. I know it was unintentional, but it did mess with the flow a bit for me.
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#25
Who says that leaves are green
Or sky is blue?
Who says that days are always light
Or night is imminently dark?
 
Who says what anything is really like? (this line is simple and distracting) 
Who sets reality's standard?

Who says I have to be like you?
Who says you have to be like me?
For your green may be my blue
My light may not be light for you
 
Green or Blue, 
Light or dark, 
everyone's reality unique, 
yet hand in hand we take it at face value
… and my colors fade as seasons change.
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#26
(04-24-2018, 10:45 PM)Cassiopeia88 Wrote:  Who says that leaves are green
Or sky is blue?
Who says that days are always light
Or night is immanently dark?
 
Who says what anything is really like?

Who says I have to be like you?
Who says you have to be like me?
For your green may be my blue
My light may not be light for you
 
… and my colors change as seasons go.

I really like how you introduce the idea of questioning things and thinking for yourself. Well done. Cheers, Guy.  Thumbsup
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