Don't Let A Clown Be Loney

[Fatman Butter]

Don't Let A Clown Be Lonely

by


FATMAN BUTTER


When creatures gather in groups of more than three
How diverse and sometimes strange is our terminology
How did it come about that we have a murder of crows?
Who names them so, and the reasons why, Heaven only knows
Not just animals, but assemblies of any ilk can hold titles of renown
Perhaps fated to be friendless, a notable exception, is the poor circus clown


A scurry of squirrels, a host of sparrows
A string of pearls, a quiver of arrows
An army of frogs, a knot of toads, a bask of crocodiles
A stand of trees, a ring of keys, and a glow of smiles
A plague of rats, a cloud of bats, a mob of kangaroos
What do we call several clowns?—I really have no clues


Occasionally our words can be rather bland, for example, a herd of cows
Other accumulations can sound quite grand, like a parliament of owls
Also somewhat ordinary is a bunch of carrots
Yet almost outlandish: a pandemonium of parrots
But what of the clown? On one hand amusing; perhaps sinister on the other
Does this contradiction forbid him to rally with associate or brother?


A gaggle of geese waddling on the ground becomes a skein when they fly
If there's anybody who knows, would you please tell me why?
A crowd, when in a church, transforms to be a congregation
Swans, only when on water, are called a lamentation
It's a walk of snails, which is somewhat odd, as they're devoid of feet
And it's not a bed of oysters because that's the place they go to sleep


Some collectives have the power to intrigue and fascinate
Others go crash-bang-wallop, giving it to you straight
So, surely, the world of words can provide a moniker for those kings of slapstick
An accolade that says, watch out, and yet provides a smile—that would be the trick
I have it! Not only fitting the criteria, but I'm quite taken by how this sounds
I here declare those gentlemen of painted face should be known as...a buffoonery of clowns

[danny_]

This was really pretty fun to read! I didn't expect so, given the length of each line, but it drew me along. I did trip a few times along the way, so the rhythm felt off, but I'm not experienced enough in this form of poetry to say for sure.

The very longest of them all is one that I have (only for now) to provide this possible change:
I here declare those gentlemen of painted face be known... as a buffoonery of clowns
[Original: I here declare those gentlemen of painted face should be known as...a buffoonery of clowns]

I just thought it rolled off the tongue easier.

BTW I thought "I really have no clues" was funny & cute.

Thanks for posting.

Don't Let A Clown Be Lonely

by


FATMAN BUTTER


When creatures gather in groups of more than three
How diverse and sometimes strange is our terminology
How did it come about that we have a murder of crows?
Who names them so, and the reasons why, Heaven only knows
Not just animals, but assemblies of any ilk can hold titles of renown
Perhaps fated to be friendless, a notable exception, is the poor circus clown


A scurry of squirrels, a host of sparrows
A string of pearls, a quiver of arrows
An army of frogs, a knot of toads, a bask of crocodiles
A stand of trees, a ring of keys, and a glow of smiles
A plague of rats, a cloud of bats, a mob of kangaroos
What do we call several clowns?—I really have no clues


Occasionally our words can be rather bland, for example, a herd of cows
Other accumulations can sound quite grand, like a parliament of owls
Also somewhat ordinary is a bunch of carrots
Yet almost outlandish: a pandemonium of parrots
But what of the clown? On one hand amusing; perhaps sinister on the other
Does this contradiction forbid him to rally with associate or brother?


A gaggle of geese waddling on the ground becomes a skein when they fly
If there's anybody who knows, would you please tell me why?
A crowd, when in a church, transforms to be a congregation
Swans, only when on water, are called a lamentation
It's a walk of snails, which is somewhat odd, as they're devoid of feet
And it's not a bed of oysters because that's the place they go to sleep


Some collectives have the power to intrigue and fascinate
Others go crash-bang-wallop, giving it to you straight
So, surely, the world of words can provide a moniker for those kings of slapstick
An accolade that says, watch out, and yet provides a smile—that would be the trick
I have it! Not only fitting the criteria, but I'm quite taken by how this sounds
I here declare those gentlemen of painted face should be known as...a buffoonery of clowns

[danny_]

Don't Let A Clown Be Lonely

by


FATMAN BUTTER


When creatures gather in groups of more than three
How diverse and sometimes strange is our terminology  
How did it come about that we have a murder of crows? 
Who names them so, and the reasons why, Heaven only knows
Not just animals, but assemblies of any ilk can hold titles of renown < I trip a little on the tempo here. When I say it aloud I can make it work, but reading it is a different story.
Perhaps fated to be friendless, a notable exception, is the poor circus clown < Great introduction


A scurry of squirrels, a host of sparrows
A string of pearls, a quiver of arrows
An army of frogs, a knot of toads, a bask of crocodiles
A stand of trees, a ring of keys, and a glow of smiles
A plague of rats, a cloud of bats, a mob of kangaroos
What do we call several clowns?—I really have no clues < "clues" is cute and fitting on the subject of clowns


Occasionally our words can be rather bland; for example, a herd of cows < semicolon suggestion.
Other accumulations can sound quite grand, like a parliament of owls < grand indeed!
Also somewhat ordinary is a bunch of carrots < tempo short-stopped here, but again, saying it aloud with good reading skill you can make it work.
Yet almost outlandish: a pandemonium of parrots
But what of the clown? On one hand amusing; perhaps sinister on the other
Does this contradiction forbid him to rally with associate or brother? < associate? well, he doesn't have any, so he can't rally with one. just a thought.


A gaggle of geese waddling on the ground becomes a skein when they fly
If there's anybody who knows, would you please tell me why?
A crowd, when in a church, transforms to be a congregation
Swans, only when on water, are called a lamentation
It's a walk of snails, which is somewhat odd, as they're devoid of feet < great line :]
And it's not a bed of oysters because that's the place they go to sleep < suggestion of italics here for any reader wanting to stress correctly aloud.


Some collectives have the power to intrigue and fascinate
Others go crash-bang-wallop, giving it to you straight
So, surely, the world of words can provide a moniker for those kings of slapstick < pretty long-winded!
An accolade that says, watch out, and yet provides a smile—that would be the trick < nicely worded though
I have it! Not only fitting the criteria, but I'm quite taken by how this sounds
I here declare those gentlemen of painted face should be known as...a buffoonery of clowns

As I said in last message, consider: I here declare those gentlemen of painted face be known... as a buffoonery of clowns (because I would like the pause to be right after known, creating suspense on a better word than "as") but again it might be fine as is. Not sure you need "should". 

As I went over this again I enjoyed it even more. This is undoubtedly the kind of poem that would be just fantastic read aloud (maybe with some great face expressions too!) and voice stress & modulation, slipping around those tempo issues with some clever pace adjustments now and then. 

Quite a clever and fun poem.

[Knot]

Hi FB,
like what you've got here, but it's all a bit loose
and the wandering rhyme scheme is something
of a distraction.


When creatures gather in groups of more than three
It's not the most dynamic of openings.
Perhaps something more interesting/unexpected than 'gather'
(I'd favour 'clump').
How diverse and sometimes strange is our terminology
you could switch 'sometimes' for 'oft times' (to emphasise
'strange terminology') - though I think dropping 'sometimes'
would improve the rhythm.
How did it come about that we have a murder of crows?
Who names them so, and the reasons why, Heaven only knows
You might switch the order of these two sentences.
Not just animals, but assemblies of any ilk can hold titles of renown
(I think you're missing a beat in this line)
Perhaps fated to be friendless, a notable exception, is the poor circus clown
Rhythm feels off here too. Also, you could reorder to better effect (I think);
A notable exception, [one] fated to be friendless, is the [lonely] circus clown.

Occasionally our words can be rather bland, for example, a herd of cows
There's not quite enough here, I think (and you probably don't need 'for
example')
[Now] Occasionally [such terms] can be rather bland;
a herd of [cattle, of curlews, of caribou, of asses
a tedium of repetition I do not understand
and is not something that linguistically impresses]

Other accumulations can sound quite grand, like a parliament of owls
Same as before, a single example doesn't really make your point.
Also somewhat ordinary is a bunch of carrots
How is 'ordinary' distinct from 'bland'?
Yet almost outlandish: a pandemonium of parrots
Same again, needs more than one example.

[There's] A scurry of squirrels, [and] a host of sparrows
A string of pearls, a quiver of arrows

An army of frogs, a knot of toads, a bask of crocodiles
Maybe,
An army of frogs, toads in a knot... ?
A stand of trees, a ring of keys, and a glow of smiles
Can't follow the rhythm here I'm afraid
And 'keys' and 'smiles'!  They don't work at all.

A gaggle of geese waddling on the ground becomes a skein when they fly
If there's anybody who knows, would you please tell me why?
A crowd, when in a church, transforms to be a congregation
'transform' is a bit weak
Swans, only when on water, are called a lamentation
maybe 'in the drink' for 'only when on water' ?

A plague of rats, a cloud of bats, a mob of kangaroos
[But] What do we call several clowns?—I really have no clues

It's a walk of snails, which is somewhat odd, as they're devoid of feet
(It 's a walk of snails, which is odd, 'cos they've clearly no feet)
And it's not a bed of oysters because that's the place they go to sleep
(Though, if oysters do sleep, then arguably it is )

Some collectives have the power to intrigue and fascinate
Others go crash-bang-wallop, giving it to you straight
You've already said as much.

But what of the clown?
[Is the question du jour]
On one hand amusing; perhaps sinister on the other
on the other sinister
('Perhaps' weakens the sinister/left-handed play)
Does this contradiction forbid him to rally with associate or brother?
Not sure you need this line at all.

So, surely, the world of words can provide a moniker for those kings of slapstick
An accolade that says, watch out, and yet provides a smile—that would be the trick
rhythmically this is hard to follow.
I have it! Not only fitting the criteria, but I'm quite taken by how this sounds
I here declare those gentlemen of painted face should be known as...
So here I declare, those painted faced gentlemen, be henceforth known as...
a [red-nosed] buffoonery of clowns


Best, Knot.