Contagious

[Wjames]

You’re always in a laughing mood
while I’m a bitter selfish brood
who hung his manners on a shelf,
your smile makes me hate myself.

I watched you hand a bum some bread
while I was swigging Saigon Red
and toasting to my perfect health,
your kindness makes me hate myself.

I’ll slowly turn you into me
so we can both stare bitterly
at all the folks who kindly help
the likes of us to hate ourselves.

[ellajam]

You’re always in a laughing mood
while I’m a bitter selfish brood
who hung his manners on a shelf,
your smile makes me hate myself.

I watched you hand a bum some bread
while I was swigging Saigon Red
and toasting to my perfect health,
your kindness makes me hate myself.

I’ll slowly turn you into me
so we can both stare bitterly
at all the folks who kindly help
the likes of us to hate ourselves.

One could hope that the end could go either way, but your way is much more likely. Fun read.

[Tiger the Lion]

Infectious piece WJ. Light and dark at the same time. Only the one metrical hiccup in L4 that trips me. Should be an easy fix.

You’re always in a laughing mood
while I’m a bitter selfish brood
who hung his manners on a shelf,
your smile makes me hate myself.

I watched you hand a bum some bread
while I was swigging Saigon Red
and toasting to my perfect health,
your kindness makes me hate myself.

I’ll slowly turn you into me
so we can both stare bitterly
at all the folks who kindly help
the likes of us to hate ourselves.

Fun read,
Paul

[alonso ramoran]

You’re always in a laughing mood
while I’m a bitter selfish brood
who hung his manners on a shelf,
your smile makes me hate myself.

I watched you hand a bum some bread
while I was swigging Saigon Red
and toasting to my perfect health, This part didn't really make sense to me. I guess the person giving the bum some bread also had a drink on them to toast?
your kindness makes me hate myself.

I’ll slowly turn you into me
so we can both stare bitterly
at all the folks who kindly help
the likes of us to hate ourselves. Love the ending of this.

This seems to be a sort of introspective commentary on haters and, if allowed, how they could turn the world into a spiteful place. I like how it sorta has this satirical tone to it as well.

[vagabond]

You’re always in a laughing mood
while I’m a bitter selfish brood
who hung his manners on a shelf,
your smile makes me hate myself.                maybe "your smiling makes me hate myself" for sake of meter.

I watched you hand a bum some bread
while I was swigging Saigon Red
and toasting to my perfect health,
your kindness makes me hate myself.

I’ll slowly turn you into me
so we can both stare bitterly
at all the folks who kindly help
the likes of us to hate ourselves.             

the ending is great.. made me wonder if some of the demonstrative goodness serves exactly the purpose described in the last line.

[Wjames]

Thanks for reading, folks.

"Smile" is a strange word, metrically. Sometimes I pronounce it with one syllable, other times I say it with two syllables, like Smy-ul. In this context, for some reason I would pronounce it as "smy-ul" with two syllables. For some reason, however, I pronounce "while" with one syllable in lines 2 & 6...

These discrepancies made me google how many syllables are in "smile" and I came across a very interesting answer someone gave in Yahoo Answers on this topic (it's the "Best Answer"): https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...015AAc094i

I personally say smile with two syllables there, but if most other people say it with one, I'll try and change it.

[Dcandy925]

Misery loves company is what comes to mind after reading this