Talking Dog

[dukealien]

Talking Dog


Office mid-days filling forms out
or word-dueling late at night I
feel just like those vaudeville acts, a
talking dog whose barking can be
heard as words by customers.

But that's not my inspiration -
doggy stars of stage and screen -
no, I'd like to be your faithful
talking dog around the house.

Perfect listener who hears all
and responds with sounds that you can
take for words you want to hear...
or I can breathe quietly, just
be there for you, hear your secrets,
never tell them, laugh, or comment,
take them kindly to my grave.

I lay ears back, so you'll never
have to pin them for complaining -
just a little rub, an ear skritch
earns my full indebtedness.

I'll growl at your unfriends but will
never cause embarrassment with
words that mean a thing to them;
if I jump up on your friends it's
only curiosity, my
way of welcoming them – it means
nothing, only happy greeting
just because they're friends of you.

Oh! I want to be your talking
dog whose words are never words, so
can't offend and yours to me are
also meaningless except they
prove you're there to care about.

[The Four-Eyed Cat]

Talking Dog


Office mid-days filling forms out                         Interesting choice to put 'out' after forms
or word-dueling late at night I
feel just like those vaudeville acts, a                   I feel that the enjambment on this position breaks the flow
talking dog whose barking can be
heard as words by customers.

But that's not my inspiration -                          
doggy stars of stage and screen -                              
no, I'd like to be your faithful                          Interesting stanza, it makes me assume that the            
talking dog around the house.                             protagonists holds a rather low opinion of him/herself

Perfect listener who hears all
and responds with sounds that you can
take for words you want to hear...
or I can breathe quietly, just                          I would omit 'or'
be there for you, hear your secrets,                    as that'd make the poem a bit more consistent. You don't
never tell them, laugh, or comment,                     start off the next stanza by 'or i lay my ears.."
take them kindly to my grave.

I lay ears back, so you'll never
have to pin them for complaining -
just a little rub, an ear skritch                       Typo on 'Scratch'
earns my full indebtedness.                             Indebtnedness feels rather awkward in this sentence

I'll growl at your unfriends but will                  Peculiar choice; unfriends 
never cause embarrassment with
words that mean a thing to them;                       Aren't the words 'empty' regardless?
if I jump up on your friends it's
only curiosity, my                                      
way of welcoming them – it means
nothing, only happy greeting                          Missing an 'a' in front of happy
just because they're friends of you.                  

Oh! I want to be your talking
dog whose words are never words, so
can't offend and yours to me are                      I understand this stanza, but i feel it can be worded
also meaningless except they                          better. Especially "So can't... ...also meaningless"
prove you're there to care about.

I'm still at odds at what you're trying to convey with this poem.  Whether it's about a man who feels that he is being treated like a dog, and accepts it in an absurd fashion, or just a anthropomorphised homage to the loyalty of our canine friends. Regardless of what the idea of the poem is, it was certainly a pleasant, playful and unique read. 

Thanks for sharing this with us and i hope that my commentary can be of help!

[ellajam]

You may have written it for fun but what a sad poem. The word-dueling speaks to failed attempt at communication, the poem's solution a desperate attempt at maintaining the status quo, one that I see some people fall into, usually unhappily.

Good read.

[dukealien]

Sincere thanks to both critics.  Interpretations (or effects) among people who have read it locally range even more widely:  ambiguity called out or rewarded...

@The Four-Eyed Cat - not explaining, but for the record "skritch" is intentional (and "unfriend" passes the modern dictionary but as a verb).  Your notes on flow valued.