Island
#1
Island
 
 (revised)

My parrot reaches with his beak,
grabs hold, drags me back
into the present, with a nip.

He doesn’t approve
of daydreams.

Here and now, boys, here and now
he quotes Huxley.

My parrot is smarter than me.







My parrot reaches with his beak,
grabs the future, drags it
back to the present, with a nip.
He knows when I’m dreaming;
he doesn’t approve. ‘Here
and now, boys, here and now’
he insists. I had no idea
he’d read Huxley. I think he
could be smarter than me.
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#2
I read a book once that had a parrot who was the reincarnation of Mozart, so Huxley's definitely a possibility. Just watch his mescaline intake.
It could be worse
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#3
(07-15-2017, 08:25 AM)Leanne Wrote:  I read a book once that had a parrot who was the reincarnation of Mozart, so Huxley's definitely a possibility.  Just watch his mescaline intake.


Hysterical Hysterical Although Huxley's talking bird was a myna. But they parrot everything.
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#4
Better parrot than ape.
It could be worse
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#5
Big Grin


(07-15-2017, 08:30 AM)Leanne Wrote:  Better parrot than ape.
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#6
A quick revision
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#7
I wasn't aware of the Huxley connection but quickly googled it
If your parrot nips, I hope he isn't a kea...

Enjoyed reading
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
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#8
(07-17-2017, 08:28 AM)Achebe Wrote:  I wasn't aware of the Huxley connection but quickly googled it
If your parrot nips, I hope he isn't a kea...

Enjoyed reading

Thanks for your read and comment.

He's a corella. I'd love to have a kea - they're the bikers of the parrot world.  Hysterical
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#9
i prefer the line breaks of the newer version, since all the enjambments did nothing for me, but i also prefer how the first draft read straightly on, the entire poem was just one stanza, as well as its handling of the last sentence, the element of uncertainty regarding whether the parrot (heck, whether Huxley, at least based on what little i've gleaned about the Island) really is so smart makes the poem more true-to-life. nevertheless, lovely, and thanks for the read.
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#10
(07-18-2017, 11:08 AM)RiverNotch Wrote:  i prefer the line breaks of the newer version, since all the enjambments did nothing for me, but i also prefer how the first draft read straightly on, the entire poem was just one stanza, as well as its handling of the last sentence, the element of uncertainty regarding whether the parrot (heck, whether Huxley, at least based on what little i've gleaned about the Island) really is so smart makes the poem more true-to-life. nevertheless, lovely, and thanks for the read.


Thanks for your read and comment. You're right - the 'freshness' of the poem vanishes in the revision. So easy to kill it! I'll leave it alone for a while, and come back to it. Maybe I can combine the two approaches somehow.
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#11
Woohoo! Revised version accepted for Poetry New Zealand Yearbook 2018. Published next March.
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