Metanoia

[Ateri]

She awakens in the twilight,
face dusted in cold dew.
crouched beneath the pallor of an ivory full moon.
and out wet, shivering lips come
Righteous Incantations

A string of words entwined into the night air.
tears, sweat and spit brewed with stardust, stewing into a frustrated invocation.
seeking deliverance through
Righteous Incantations

And when the twilight has melted into rays of shying daylight,
she shambles into ratty sheets.
even in her dreams she forms the cross;
sacrificing ragged breaths to bring about curses so forceful her body ceases.
trembling with the force of
Righteous Incantations

They say pray without ceasing,
so she cooks with the Spirit.
oil, salt and cow’s tongue
thrown into the fiery depths of a cast iron pan,
while ardent words erupt from her jaw.
and in the heat of her Passion the food is forgotten.
the shrieking of the fire alarm like Church bells.
tendrils of smoke curling off the stove become the incense blessing each
Righteous Incantation

You want to push the Devil out of your Life,
but it seems He’s found purchase in your desperation.
wondering if you have been forsaken,
the bitterness bubbling underneath your nescience threatens to spill over in contempt.
cast you down from the place you found comfort.
hurl you from your notion of sanity.

Torment her until she becomes fiendish.
swollen with the vitriol of
Righteous Incantations

[ellajam]

Hi, Ateri, welcome to the Pen.

Your poem was a little off-putting for me because of the odd punctuation. I don't get what the pattern of inserting periods into the middle of sentences adds and for me it seemed to be an unwelcome gimmick. But I did eventually get past it, , and found some vivid imagery and interesting language. I don't have too much to say about the subject, I really don't know what drove her to her current state, but here are some notes.

She awakens in the twilight,
face dusted in cold dew.
crouched beneath the pallor of an ivory full moon.
and out wet, shivering lips come out of?
Righteous Incantations A strong image to start.

A string of words entwined into the night air.
tears, sweat and spit brewed with stardust, stewing into a frustrated invocation. You might change the order to avoid the intrusion of the blood, sweat and tears cliche.
seeking deliverance through
Righteous Incantations

And when the twilight has melted into rays of shying daylight, This is a lovely line.
she shambles into ratty sheets.
even in her dreams she forms the cross; Another strong line.
sacrificing ragged breaths to bring about curses so forceful her body ceases. Not a fan of the sonics or the disruptive period here, her body ceases?
trembling with the force of
Righteous Incantations

They say pray without ceasing,
so she cooks with the Spirit.
oil, salt and cow’s tongue
thrown into the fiery depths of a cast iron pan,
while ardent words erupt from her jaw. I like the tongue and jaw.
and in the heat of her Passion the food is forgotten.
the shrieking of the fire alarm like Church bells. While the capitalization of Righteous Incantations makes sense to me, I don't see what Passion and Church adds.
tendrils of smoke curling off the stove become the incense blessing each I like how this competes the idea of turning common acts into rites.
Righteous Incantation

You want to push the Devil out of your Life, meh, you might be able to cut this line, it can be assumed.
but it seems He’s found purchase in your desperation. I like the phrase "found purchase in your desperation'.
wondering if you have been forsaken,
the bitterness bubbling underneath your nescience threatens to spill over in contempt. It's not clear who has contempt here.
cast you down from the place you found comfort. I haven't gotten a sense of comfort from the subject.
hurl you from your notion of sanity.

Torment her until she becomes fiendish.
swollen with the vitriol of
Righteous Incantations meh on the ending.

Maybe someone else can give you more, I hope there's something here that helps. Again, welcome.

[tectak]

Hello ateri,
you have strayed into fog with this one. Metaphysically,  it is made pretty unreadable because of your weird(?) or incompetent grammar plus punctuation. If chopped up sentences are your thing then you need to be sure of your placements, otherwise the thing misfires like a wet spark plug. I don't attempt translation, no one should need to but some like to indulge. Me, I just pick at the body leaving the soul to others.

She awakens in the twilight, wakens, surely
face dusted in cold dew. dew is wet, not dusty...has it frozen? Do you mean hoar frost? Veracity issues
crouched beneath the pallor of an ivory full moon.Like it.Pictorially interesting
and out wet, shivering lips comePunctuate. This is in intensive and you should proof aread your work
Righteous Incantations time will tell but initial reaction is so what?I think you just like the sound of  righteous incantations and hope the reader will be impressed without looking too deeply in to the meaning. I have no idea what a righteous incantation is.

A string of words entwined into the night air. entwined INTO is suspect language. 
tears, sweat and spit brewed with stardust, stewing into a frustrated invocation. dreadful construction and grammatically suicidal. This whole stanza is like falling downstairs whilst writing a spell.
seeking deliverance through
Righteous Incantations

And when the twilight has melted into rays of shying daylight,
she shambles into ratty sheets.
even in her dreams she forms the cross;
sacrificing ragged breaths to bring about curses so forceful her body ceases.
trembling with the force of
Righteous Incantations

They say pray without ceasing,
so she cooks with the Spirit.
oil, salt and cow’s tongue
thrown into the fiery depths of a cast iron pan,
while ardent words erupt from her jaw.
and in the heat of her Passion the food is forgotten.
the shrieking of the fire alarm like Church bells.
tendrils of smoke curling off the stove become the incense blessing each
Righteous Incantation

You want to push the Devil out of your Life,
but it seems He’s found purchase in your desperation.
wondering if you have been forsaken,
the bitterness bubbling underneath your nescience threatens to spill over in contempt.
cast you down from the place you found comfort.
hurl you from your notion of sanity.

Torment her until she becomes fiendish.
swollen with the vitriol of
Righteous Incantations

[Richard]

Hey Ateri,
Welcome of the site

I like the overall idea in your poem. However, I found some of the punctuation a bit confusing and thought you could have done more with your subject material. I'll go into more detail below:

She awakens in the twilight,
face dusted in cold dew. -Is she outside? Can there be dew inside someone's home? I'm not a science person, so may be I am wrong here to point this out.
crouched beneath the pallor of an ivory full moon. -I feel like you could use a better word than "ivory" to describe the moon. It's not incorrect, but it's like describing a fire engine as red.
and out wet, shivering lips come
Righteous Incantations -This line is obviously important to the overall meaning of the poem. It is repeated and capitalized, giving it emphasis. My suggestion here would be to think about going into greater detail. May be add a stanza giving the reader an excerpt from this "Righteous Incantation". 

A string of words entwined into the night air. -Giving specific words would better help to communicate the main idea of your poem.
tears, sweat and spit brewed with stardust, stewing into a frustrated invocation.-Why is there no capital at the start of this sentence? You need to go all in on one side: either no punctuation at all or following basic punctuation rules. 
seeking deliverance through =Maybe think about telling us why she is so desperate for deliverance.
Righteous Incantations

And when the twilight has melted into rays of shying daylight, -I like "shying daylight" and would suggest expanding on it as an image.
she shambles into ratty sheets.-Why are the sheets "ratty"?
even in her dreams she forms the cross; -What is she dreaming about? I want more detail.
sacrificing ragged breaths to bring about curses so forceful her body ceases. -The phrase "her body ceases" made me think she died. I would suggest rephrasing this part of the line.
trembling with the force of
Righteous Incantations

They say pray without ceasing, -Who is "they"?
so she cooks with the Spirit. -I think I know what you mean here, but the wording could be made clearer. For example, this line could be misinterpreted as the Spirit being some sort of spice.
oil, salt and cow’s tongue
thrown into the fiery depths of a cast iron pan, -Why is the pan described like hell? This seems a bit of over kill in terms of the imagery for your poem.
while ardent words erupt from her jaw.
and in the heat of her Passion the food is forgotten. -This makes her religious beliefs seem dangerous. Was that your intention?
the shrieking of the fire alarm like Church bells.
tendrils of smoke curling off the stove become the incense blessing each -I like the imagery here, and I would like to see an entire poem built around this stanza. Does this woman die here?
Righteous Incantation

You want to push the Devil out of your Life,-Why does the poem shift focus from the woman to the reader? I would suggest retooling this stanza so it focuses more on the woman in the poem.
but it seems He’s found purchase in your desperation. -How so? You need to give more detail here.
wondering if you have been forsaken,
the bitterness bubbling underneath your nescience threatens to spill over in contempt.
cast you down from the place you found comfort.
hurl you from your notion of sanity. -I want these ideas of bitterness, contempt, comfort and sanity applied to the woman.

Torment her until she becomes fiendish. -What is tormenting her, religion or the devil? This could be clearer.
swollen with the vitriol of
Righteous Incantations -This line is repeated too much for my liking. I would suggest cutting it in a few spots.

I think you have some thoughts in here that are worth exploring. However, you need to focus on editing this poem a bit. I look forward to seeing where you take this poem from here.

Keep writing,
Richard

[Ateri]

Thanks for the feedback guys! I appreciate it. The lack of punctuation and capitalization was as a result of trying to experiment with different formatting. In retrospect, that was a bad idea. I'll work on making this poem better and keep your feedback in mind.

[Keith]

She awakens in the twilight,
face dusted in cold dew. you could swap these two lines around as the opening doesnt grab me but dusted did and she wakes ?
crouched beneath the pallor of an ivory full moon. a full moons ivory pallor ? I like the image either way
and out wet, shivering lips come and out "OF" wet surley?
Righteous Incantations I see what you are doing with the repeat making it like an incantation but it could be stronger if it had some content or specific words that repeat the reader would still understand its an incantation

A string of words entwined into the night air. into or with, still a nice storng image
tears, sweat and spit brewed with stardust, stewing into a frustrated invocation.stardust seems out of place all your other word choices here a well grounded. like the end rhyme picking up the repeat
seeking deliverance through
Righteous Incantations

And when the twilight has melted into rays of shying daylight, lovely image
she shambles into ratty sheets.
even in her dreams she forms the cross; enev in her dreams a cross is formed ? would take care of the she repeat that spoils this line.
sacrificing ragged breaths to bring about curses so forceful her body ceases.
trembling with the force of
Righteous Incantations This whole stanza is my favourite very vivid not sure ceases works but could be me missing something

They say pray without ceasing,
so she cooks with the Spirit.
oil, salt and cow’s tongue
thrown into the fiery depths of a cast iron pan,
while ardent words erupt from her jaw.
and in the heat of her Passion the food is forgotten.
the shrieking of the fire alarm like Church bells.
tendrils of smoke curling off the stove become the incense blessing each
Righteous Incantation

You want to push the Devil out of your Life,
but it seems He’s found purchase in your desperation.
wondering if you have been forsaken, too obvious for me given the veils that come before
the bitterness bubbling underneath your nescience threatens to spill over in contempt.
cast you down from the place you found comfort.
hurl you from your notion of sanity. I'm not sure you need this stanza it feels like the poem is being over done, maybe I just need to read it a few more times but pushing out the essence of the change to the reader could possibly be reduced to one stanza.

Torment her until she becomes fiendish.
swollen with the vitriol of
Righteous Incantations You have until now used the repeat to good effect I think its a bit of a cop out to close with it, you need a better line

The transition comes across really well I have made some comments on my thought about changing the incantation to an actual incantation but..your poem. The title sets it up well and I think you have some stunning images that I very much enjoyed. I found the opening and end a little weak but overall I enjoyed the whole piece. I have added some comments for consideration above. Bets Keith