Poetry Prompt 4: Beginnings and Ends.

[billy]

Poetry Prompt 4: Beginnings and Ends.

at least an eight line poem, with the end letter of each line
Beginning the next sentence. the first sentence beginning with
the letter J (the first word can't be a name).

example:

jnvlhj;lv lklknh pojpj ooit.
tfkjgf hkhd kdol llknhkne.
edkjd sgd holkh h'ik.
khvlhj lhjl hl .jb;kmb.
b;j;j;................................................

[Todd]

Billy, I'll try to get something here this week. This should be fun.

[billy]

Another Move.

Jingles on the radio;
old Rick Astley takes over, promises not to give me up.
Periwinkle- blue leather wraps me in a nostalgic smile:

Eyes shielded from the cornflower sun
notice surreal images dance in the chrome of the bumper.

Ready to ride in the Wolsey/vanden plas; it’s
silver name immortalized in shiny metal letters
standing proud against an olive green of
finely buffed perfection.

Nearby, a loose skinned hand; mottled with liver spots;
stitched across stretched skin, presses down the polished handle
Easing myself through the rear door,
reclining on the back seat
that stretches out before me.
Each panel decorated with red cotton stitches.
Softly the door clunks shut behind.

Discussing me; the two oblivious adults in front
turn the volume up, their conversation still audible, though only just.
Talk of foster parents, adoption; a better life for the poor kid
Don’t they know I’m here, I’m not deaf?

Fingering a worn marble in my pant’s pocket.
Trying so hard not to cry; I turn my face, let my cheek press against
the cold smoothness of the glass and expel a silent sob.

[billy]

bumped because i posted the poem in an edit instead of a new post

[Todd]

You did a good job with this Billy. It's a lot harder than it looks (I've had a few false starts).

Fingering a worn marble in my pant’s pocket.

That and the cold smoothness later the narrator trying to make himself hard in that moment was really what brought this one home for me.

Best,

Todd

[billy]

i know, i thought it would be a walk in the park

thanks for th e kind words. i may put this one in the serious crit in a weeks time when the promt is changed.

[Todd]

Yeah what makes this one difficult is you start writing and your enjambing the line and you think F*&K I can't do that...I have to start with an R or an Z. It's a cool prompt but it resists the natural flow of writing. I think though honestly that's the point of prompts they're meant to make you a little uncomfortable so that they push you in other directions than you would normally go.

[Lawrence]

This looks awesome!
I like writing "How to" poems, so I'll use this form for my next one.

[heslopian]

Settle down, the nursemaid’s here,
Eating a scone as she draws you a bath,
Happily spilling crumbs on the floor.

Round and round the grey mass swims,
Screeching like an injured cat,
The skull a shattered pine cradle.

Eternity: a schoolyard taunt
Tracing a line down your scalp,
Piercing the tight flesh

Happily, like your nursemaid as she
Eats her scone. But you invented her.
Rotund soother, she eases the pain.

[Todd]

This was a bitch. Begin with J he says...haha. I plan on savagely editing this and turning it into something else, but the prompt did take me in a direction I would never have went without it.

Munin

Joined in this unkindness,
skimming the twilight
thermals, tasting the slave song,
grasping the limp hand of the stillborn.
My words do not strike
sparks against the flint
to burn the hanged god’s ear.
Remember this cry.
You share only what is new.
What is that to me? So like murder: a black flutter,
tiny footsteps of regret.
There is an eye under water,
the pointless journey,
your unlit hearth of tradition.
Now, I see your excitement and echo it
There are the buildings rising,
guarding the sky. I am the dust left behind.

[heslopian]

Oh crap, I missed the "begin with J" bit:S

[Todd]

No Worries Jack I fixed it for you:

Jettle down, the nursemaid’s here,


These lines were very cool by the way:

Screeching like an injured cat,
The skull a shattered pine cradle.

[heslopian]

No Worries Jack I fixed it for you:

Jettle down, the nursemaid’s here,

Oh if only that could work

These lines were very cool by the way:

Screeching like an injured cat,
The skull a shattered pine cradle.

Thanks

[billy]

Settle down, the nursemaid’s here,
Eating a scone as she draws you a bath,
Happily spilling crumbs on the floor.

Round and round the grey mass swims,
Screeching like an injured cat,
The skull a shattered pine cradle.

Eternity: a schoolyard taunt
Tracing a line down your scalp,
Piercing the tight flesh

Happily, like your nursemaid as she
Eats her scone. But you invented her.
Rotund soother, she eases the pain.

i know you know i know todd knows you know you didn't start with j
yorra veree veree bad boy

nicely done i felt the torment.
the first stanza was really good.

[billy]

This was a bitch. Begin with J he says...haha. I plan on savagely editing this and turning it into something else, but the prompt did take me in a direction I would never have went without it.

Munin

Joined in this unkindness,
skimming the twilight
thermals, tasting the slave song,
grasping the limp hand of the stillborn.
My words do not strike
sparks against the flint
to burn the hanged god’s ear.
Remember this cry.
You share only what is new.
What is that to me? So like murder: a black flutter,
tiny footsteps of regret.
There is an eye under water,
the pointless journey,
your unlit hearth of tradition.
Now, I see your excitement and echo it
There are the buildings rising,
guarding the sky. I am the dust left behind.

i didn't understand a lot of it and i have no idea who munin is but i effin loved it. it feels like the passage of man. or the passage of man to more men.to many good lines to pick one out.

thanks for the read.

[heslopian]

i know you know i know todd knows you know you didn't start with j
yorra veree veree bad boy

Wow, usually I have to call 0900 numbers for that kind of talk

nicely done i felt the torment.
the first stanza was really good.

Thanks Billy, for the challenge as well as the kind words It's amazing how structure can stir the creative juices.

[Lawrence]

I wrote rhymed verse, (8-6-8-6 syllables) in this exercise. The poem wound up sucking so bad I threw it into the fire! I'll try again later

[Lawrence]

My words do not strike
sparks against the flint

You share only what is new.
What is that to me? So like murder: a black flutter,

Great poem, but it's a form break, no?
I agree that this is a bastard to execute.

[Todd]

Yes at least two form breaks that I can see now. Damn! Ha ha...Oh, well the point is even if the thing comes out strange is just to keep writing. I'll step into the penalty box with Jack I guess.