The Waning Lights of Northland

[calypist]

The Waning Lights of Northland

Wide-set eyes on every face
Feral in their resting place
White-coat pushers sow and reap
Intellect and dignity
Geriatrics standing by
Catching glimpses of the sky
Can’t remember how to fly,
So wait around instead to die.

[vagabond]

Wide-set eyes on every face
Feral in their resting place
White-coat pushers sow and reap     I could stretch to connect “sow” with handing out pills  against dementia  in the context of the line below, but I don´t get how intellect could be reaped  from the poem´s words alone  (though there are many reasons why  intellect fades in the facilities I imagine this poem is about ..you could describe more what you mean)

Intellect and dignity          dignity can surely be ripped away, but how does one sow it? I remember reading somewhere that human dignity is inalienable, so it wouldn´t have to be sowed in the first place, only preserved          
 
Geriatrics standing by              so the white-coat-pushers are nurses (I thought of them as the docs first), then why are the docs standing by?
Catching glimpses of the sky     here I had to think a moment to realize that it was not the geriatrics who were doing that, maybe a new stanza could help.
Can’t remember how to fly,       i can´t either, infact I never flew. so here I´d need a few associations to make “flying” work as a metaphor
So wait around instead to die.

this crit is based on my interpretation, so if I´m completely off just dismiss it.
otherwise I´d think it is a fine topic and you could expand your poem a little more.

[homer1950]

The Waning Lights of Northland

Wide-set eyes on every face
Feral in their resting place
White-coat pushers sow and reap
Intellect and dignity
Geriatrics standing by
Catching glimpses of the sky
Can’t remember how to fly,
So wait around instead to die.

Hi Calypist my only suggestion is to slow down the flow as to create a more dramatic reading. I know it is not commonplace anymore to do as I am suggesting, yet I feel a dramatic flare is needed for your poem.


Wide-set eyes on every face,
Feral-
in their resting place

White-coat pushers,
Sow and reap-
intellect and dignity

Geriatrics standing by,
Catching-
glimpses of the sky

Can’t remember how to fly,
So-
wait around instead to die.

[nibbed]

Hi, Calypist. This is incredible rhyme.



The Waning Lights of Northland                    I giggled to myself, Northland was a shopping mall I visited when I was a child.
                                                                     I think they tore it down...
Wide-set eyes on every face
Feral in their resting place
White-coat pushers sow and reap                 this is real poetry, when art expresses the oppressions of a society
Intellect and dignity
Geriatrics standing by
Catching glimpses of the sky
Can’t remember how to fly,
So wait around instead to die.                       very sad.


I felt rushed through the read
I agree a spacing in the structure
might help. Thank you for the read
it is very thought provoking.

All the best. Janine