(05-22-2017, 05:29 AM)Wjames Wrote: The only crit I can offer is to change "yearned" to "yearns" as it is not in the past tense (that stanza is beautiful by the way).
Oops, yes! Changed it.
Thanks
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I hate myself for liking this - I am allergic to poetry that contains angels (except for Rilke's) and according to the Bible, all angels were male. Though it says nothing about whether or not they can have man-boobs.
(05-22-2017, 08:43 AM)just mercedes Wrote: I hate myself for liking this - I am allergic to poetry that contains angels (except for Rilke's) and according to the Bible, all angels were male. Though it says nothing about whether or not they can have man-boobs.
The Bible makes God out to male as well... I suspect bias.
More on angels, religion, and faeries:
For me, Angels are more related to good faeries (faeries come in both flavors, and the bad ones are truly horrific).
Religions, for me, are splendid myths, both enthralling and terrifying. I've always thought that the question
of whether gods created people or people created gods, wasn't that relevant. The fact is, that either way,
gods exist and have a very powerful effect on our lives. So, for me, angels really do exist. This poem, in
fact, was inspired by a visitation. I sometimes (not that often) have them. Not only when I'm dreaming,
but during the day when I'm wide awake. I don't usually mention this because when you been diagnosed
with a mental illness, it just tends to add to the already existing problems associated with maintaining
normal social relations. When this happens, being someone who thinks there's a very low probability of ghosts,
gods, or spirits existing outside our minds; I usually attribute it to some neurochemical imbalance and think
of it as an attempt by my subconscious to communicate with me. I try to accept it graciously. While this is hard
to do when it's past midnight in the forest and they peek out from behind a tree, when standing in a garden on
a beautiful spring day, it's quite exhilarating. Most of the angels I've seen are androgynous (think Ziggy Stardust).
This is probably because that's a great aspiration of mine (both androgyny and Ziggy Stardust).
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
I was liking the poem right away when I saw Elijah and the angel who brought him sustenance as he hid from evil. The Biblical accounts of Elijah are my favorite. Though the image doesn't match the poem, the poem has a quirky, cuteness about it. I don't quite understand the last stanza, but I will go over it again and again...very often I am slow of wit and/or comprehension. Best wishes to you!
(05-23-2017, 08:01 AM)nibbed Wrote: Hi Rayheinrich
I was liking the poem right away when I saw Elijah and the angel who brought him sustenance as he hid from evil. The Biblical accounts of Elijah are my favorite. Though the image doesn't match the poem, the poem has a quirky, cuteness about it. I don't quite understand the last stanza, but I will go over it again and again...very often I am slow of wit and/or comprehension. Best wishes to you!
It does go with the poem, I selected it for just that reason. (See 1 Kings 19:5-8 in the P.S. below.)
But note: I'm not retelling, I'm referencing.
I did take the liberty of making the angel a 'she'. I always disliked calling an angel "it" (not to mention it goes along with the image).
If I used 'it' :
its voice
surrounding me
its truth
a parable
"you might"
"it said
"construct a skeleton
"that yearns for flesh"
"you might"
"it said
"remember"
1 Kings 19:5-8 (KJV)
5 And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him,
and said unto him, Arise and eat.
6 And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse
of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again.
7 And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said,
Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee.
8 And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty
days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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