(04-08-2017, 05:55 AM)burrealist Wrote: I looked at them all. There are four that I have a question about.
The four haiku mentioned:
The four I italicized: I don't understand why the last line of each cannot work just as a completion of all second lines.
Haiku becomes so confusing when I feel that some lines aren't complete, so what makes them relevant?
Well... the Wikipedia article on haiku used to suck badly. BUT: Over the years
it has become (IMHO) excellent. You should read it, it answers a lot of questions:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku
But not that one. So:
Japanese language haiku are written using 17
on (also known as
morae) which are NOT translatable into English syllables.
*
They are written in a single line with an implied (but unmarked) division into three parts: 5-7-5 (the Japanese sometimes sneak extra
ones in so it becomes 6-7-5, 5-8-5 etc.) and the cutting happens after the first or second part. It has become a tradition in English
to print the three divisions as three lines. Many people, including myself, use two or three lines according to content. Most Japanese
Haiku, IMHO, would normally be written as two lines with the separation coming after the cutting point, or word (no dashes required).
Mosquito at my ear
does he think I’m deaf?
Some people use one line and a dash (to mimic the cutting
on ) because the Japanese use one line.
Mosquito at my ear — does he think I’m deaf?
It really doesn't matter that much to me, I usually use whatever form the translator used.
A few Japanese haiku use the whole 7
on middle section as a cutting phrase;
these would be written using three lines.
I particularly love this type. Here's one of mine
as an example:
night herons fly
through the mist
a new moon
they're cool because they can be read two ways:
night herons fly through the mist,
a new moon
night herons fly,
through the mist a new moon
Another convention is to use only lower case. This became a custom to honor the original Japanese haiku,
because Japanese doesn't have upper and lower cases. etc. etc. etc.
Hope that helps.
Ray
* When language average information content is scientifically analyzed, by the way, the information
content in 17 Japanese
on is roughly equivalent to about 12 English syllables. This is why translators
have a hard time trying to get Japanese haiku to translate to 17 English syllables. A lot of the old-fashioned
translators had to add words to get the syllable count to 17.
Many people (Hass, me, etc.) think that it's impossible to capture the spirit/meaning
of the Japanese haiku form in English if you use 17 syllables. And sense it's
much easier in Japanese to adjust
on counts, English haiku syllable count
is given a bit more leeway. The normal range, usually given, is 10 to 14 English syllables.
(Mine usually come in at 6 to 9, but I have quite a few 2's and 3's
as well... and even a few 1's which use an inferred 2nd part)
10 versus 17 Syllable translation example:
The famous Basho haiku literal translation:
old pond frog jump into water sound
Translated by Robert Hass:
The old pond —
a frog jumps in,
sound of water.
A 1930's 17 Syllable English translation by Eli Siegel:
Pond, there, still and old!
A frog has jumped from the shore.
The splash can be heard.
