Thud.

[Flos Campi]

I think I sense a thud. 
A silent throb
Now sounds. 

It slowly, thickly spreads. 
I think I sensed
A thud. 

(I think I spoke without much sense
Of thuds, for soon the thrill subsides.)

[CRNDLSM]

I don't know why this just cracked me up, I think it's the parentheses. The thrill of writing of thuds, simple pattern, fun, I'm counting 6, 6, 6, 6 ,16. Interesting!

Then the form looks like dropping, dropping, thud! I like it

[Flos Campi]

Thank you very much for your encouraging words, CRNDLSM! This poem was primarily an experiment in form, so the fact that you pointed that out means a lot to me.

[muteyy]

I don't know why, but the first thing I thought of here was a horror film. Or of my worst nightmare coming true. Laying in bed, listening to the "footsteps" getting closer.... "thickly spreading." Until the thrill subsides when I get killed, or realize it was just my cat. Haha. I really enjoyed reading this. It read nicely and flowed through. Very good short poem!

[Flos Campi]

Thanks for the response, muteyy! It's interesting to see how differently different readers have interpreted the poem. It makes me want to experiment with playing around with levels of vagueness to see when this becomes too much or too little.

[Lizzie]

I like this more as I continue to read it. There are a few bits that I think you can cut and the poem will read better: I would drop 'Now' from L3 and 'Of thuds' from L8. I would also encourage you to drop the capitals at the beginning of lines when they are not the start of a sentence (example: Of thuds...) It isn't done much anymore. I like the repetition of ess sounds and TH sounds throughout the piece. Looking forward to reading more from you.

[RiverNotch]

Clean and smooth. Or maybe it's the Francis Bacon, stimulating my thoughts.

It's my developing style that wants me to decapitalize the first of each line -- in this case, however, the allcaps works, develops tension between lines, so that if you do go that route, i would also suggest decapitalizing basically everything. Also, the title's period really works -- but that leads to my one somewhat negative note, that otherwise the punctuation doesn't seem playful enough. The periods in the first and sixth lines seem utterly removeable, the first period clarifying what would be an interestingly constructed run-on, the second stopping something that would be more appropriately given breath by the parenthetic. But those notes are nits; really, a delight to read.

[Flos Campi]

Thank you to both of you for your feedback! I will almost definitely drop the capitals and punctuation when I revise this, although I am reluctant to remove the words that you suggested (mostly "now", although I can see ways to rewrite the last line without "of thuds") due to wanting to preserve the meter.

And of course, the more Francis Bacon stimulates our thoughts the better. 

[worros]

This is definitely intriguing. I like the mirroring of the first two stanzas. To me it makes me think of how we second guess things and don't trust our instincts anymore. The ending finishes this out for me because as nothing comes of the thuds your character though they heard they move on and realize how silly it was. Good job.

[tommyb]

I think I sense a thud. 
A silent throb
Now sounds. 

It slowly, thickly spreads. 
I think I sensed
A thud. 

(I think I spoke without much sense
Of thuds, for soon the thrill subsides.)

I love the line, "It slowly thickly spreads." Maybe it's my synesthesia talking, but that is a perfect description of the sensation I feel upon hearing a soft thud in a quiet place.

The form is very effective. Simultaneously a sense of depth and fleetingness. The parenthesis is a lovely touch.

[nibbed]

I pictured a book dropping,
something in another room.
Silent throb was wonderful!
I like the parenthesis, too,
they reveal a soul's
remarkable & irresistible sparkle.
enjoyed

[glennerdwilliams]

It's wonderful. It hit me somewhere in the gut; it is so vague, but gives me this feeling of terror that makes me want to turn the light on! I loved the use of the word "thickly", it kind of reminded me of a heavy darkness. I just joined the forum and this was a great start! Keep it up.