Toad

[Sparkydashforth]

Whither now hunker-shins?
You have a sweet countenance,
a squat grace,
always middle-aged
on the contrary edge
of a speeding sun.
Another swift day has begun
yet you sit here
among the traffic
unflinching, low-sprung
deep-seated recliner,
standing-pat
over upholstered hams.
Lumpy Mona Lisa,
with your come-hither girth,
just a thin membrane
between you and chaos,
your skin an alien chiaroscuro,
a candle-lit atlas,
and in the cockle and crimp
a smugly gleam
and world-dismissing
Buddha smile.

[CRNDLSM]

Anytime I see 'toad' I think 20 minute ginger baker solo. I really like everything about this from describing a toad, to comparing toad to a person... alien chiaroscuro, candle-lit atlas, upholstered hams, I love it

[Sparkydashforth]

Thanks CRNDLSM,

appreciate the comments.

By the way, I'm a white man

Anytime I see 'toad' I think 20 minute ginger baker solo.  I really like everything about this from describing a toad, to comparing toad to a person... alien chiaroscuro,  candle-lit atlas, upholstered hams, I love it

[Lizzie]

Whither now hunker-shins? -- Hunker-shins So apt and great sonics.
You have a sweet countenance,
a squat grace,
always middle-aged -- yes
on the contrary edge
of a speeding sun.
Another swift day has begun
yet you sit here
among the traffic
unflinching, low-sprung
deep-seated recliner,
standing-pat
over upholstered hams. -- love the holding up traffic scene -- so well executed
Lumpy Mona Lisa,
with your come-hither girth,
just a thin membrane
between you and chaos, -- this one feels a little vague and doesn't add much. I get the chaos of the traffic, but that scene was already well played.
your skin an alien chiaroscuro,
a candle-lit atlas,
and in the cockle and crimp
a smugly gleam -- hmmmm, I don't think smugly works grammatically here. You smugly gleam? A smug gleam?
and world-dismissing -- if you changed the above it might be 'with a world-dismissing'
Buddha smile. -- so true. I like this better than the 'sweet countenance' above. I don't think you need to talk about its expression more than once.

So endearing, and made me laugh. And I love that this description can be applied to a person as well. One of your best, for me.

[Sparkydashforth]

Thanks Lizziep,

good hints and prompts.... I am definitely considering.

Chuffed

Sparky D

Whither now hunker-shins? -- Hunker-shins So apt and great sonics.
You have a sweet countenance,
a squat grace,
always middle-aged -- yes
on the contrary edge
of a speeding sun.
Another swift day has begun
yet you sit here
among the traffic
unflinching, low-sprung
deep-seated recliner,
standing-pat
over upholstered hams. -- love the holding up traffic scene -- so well executed
Lumpy Mona Lisa,
with your come-hither girth,
just a thin membrane
between you and chaos, -- this one feels a little vague and doesn't add much. I get the chaos of the traffic, but that scene was already well played.
your skin an alien chiaroscuro,
a candle-lit atlas,
and in the cockle and crimp
a smugly gleam -- hmmmm, I don't think smugly works grammatically here. You smugly gleam? A smug gleam?
and world-dismissing -- if you changed the above it might be 'with a world-dismissing'
Buddha smile. -- so true. I like this better than the 'sweet countenance' above. I don't think you need to talk about its expression more than once.

So endearing, and made me laugh. And I love that this description can be applied to a person as well. One of your best, for me.