Sunday Walks *edit*

[operadiva]

First Edit after much appreciated advice.*** 

Sunday Walks

Thoughts aren’t worth the cracks in
the pavement I drag my feet across. 
My heels scraping the small rocks
that had rolled into my weathered path

Emotions find a mirror sitting at the 
top of a garbage can overflowing with bullshit.
My arm can’t help but launch a nearby 
stone, shattering the fabricated reflection.

Will bends like the feeble blades of grass I
run my shaking hands through in an empty park.
My palms sweat when I fail to recognize the
back of my hand and its dark blue veins.

Heart stops at the harsh edge of the
woods where nothing meets Everything. 
My knees buckle and I fall before the 
proud oaks I have nothing in common with.

Sorrow is the slow roll of a single 
bead of sap down a wounded tree.
My eyes can barely perceive the subtle motion
as gravity consumes both time and space.

Memory clouds the sky, as a thunderous 
storm devours the once peaceful expanse.
My legs turn home before my mind can 
abandon the pleasures of a carefree day.

Reality meets me at the door to my 
apartment like a cool draft in an empty restaurant. 
My face searches for the right reaction, only
to manufacture a smile that is in danger of extinction. 

Thank you for your thoughtful remarks. 

Original***

Sunday Walks
 
My Thoughts aren’t worth the cracks in
the pavement I drag my feet across.
My heels scraping against the small rocks
that have rolled into my static path
 
My Emotions find a mirror sitting at the
top of a garbage can overflowing with bullshit.
My arm can’t help but launch a nearby
stone, shattering the otherwise functioning reflection.
 
My Will bends like the feeble blades of grass I
run my shaking hands through in a park by myself.
My palms sweat as I fail to recognize the
back of my hand and its dark blue veins.
 
My Heart stops at the hard edge of the
woods where Nothing meets Everything.
My knees buckle and I fall before the
proud oaks I have nothing in common with.
 
My Sorrow is like the slow roll of a single
bead of sap down a wounded tree.
My eyes can barely perceive the subtle motion
as gravity consumes both time and space.
 
My Reality meets me at the door to my
apartment like a cool draft in an empty restaurant.
My face searches for the right reaction, only
to settle with on a smile in danger of extinction.

[kolemath]

Some good imagery and interesting lines but overly emotional to my reading preferences. Try cutting every my and let the following nouns speak for themselves.

I'm searching for implications beyond depression too.

Thanks for sharing

[89layers]

Hi

Interesting poem.
This bit "shattering the otherwise functioning reflection" the words otherwise and functioning seem a tad off. I think you're trying to say that you are angry that it embodies your state of being, "otherwise" isn't needed because except in its quality of undesirability or unworthiness I doubt you are feeling to resemble a trash can. Maybe something along the lines of "shattering the honest (or taunting) reflection."
 
This sentence was a little messy, maybe cleaned up could read:
My Will bends like the feeble blades of grass that I
run my shaking hands through in an empty park.

The word "when" better conveys the cause and effect:
My palms sweat when I fail to recognize the back of my hand and its dark blue veins.
 
I like this.  I think it evokes a good sense of tranquility in nature and the disappointment when it's disturbed again by the chaos of a city.  Not sure I like the use of the word "woods" though. Is it a park or a woods?  I got an image of a park, maybe playground, but woods makes me think on a much grander sCale of the nature you are experiencing.  Or maybe I've just never been to thst kind of park

My Heart stops at the hard edge of the
woods where Nothing meets Everything. 
My knees buckle and I fall before the 
proud oaks I have nothing in common with.
 
I like the message conveyed in the ending.  But I don't think I care for the restaurant analogy. It seems to come out of nowhere.  Maybe you can talk about its quality of staleness in comparison to your vibrant outdoors experience. Maybe your face "twinges to express the right emotion, only to smile timidly at the danger of extinction?"
 
Overall the poem evoked a strong feeling of discontent and existential crisis that I identify with. So I really enjoyed it!! But I think you could choose some stronger words to even better resonate with your reader <3

Sunday Walks
 
My Thoughts aren’t worth the cracks in
the pavement I drag my feet across.
My heels scraping against the small rocks
that have rolled into my static path
 
My Emotions find a mirror sitting at the
top of a garbage can overflowing with bullshit.
My arm can’t help but launch a nearby
stone, shattering the otherwise functioning reflection.
 
My Will bends like the feeble blades of grass I
run my shaking hands through in a park by myself.
My palms sweat as I fail to recognize the
back of my hand and its dark blue veins.
 
My Heart stops at the hard edge of the
woods where Nothing meets Everything.
My knees buckle and I fall before the
proud oaks I have nothing in common with.
 
My Sorrow is like the slow roll of a single
bead of sap down a wounded tree.
My eyes can barely perceive the subtle motion
as gravity consumes both time and space.
 
My Reality meets me at the door to my
apartment like a cool draft in an empty restaurant.
My face searches for the right reaction, only
to settle with on a smile in danger of extinction.

[CRNDLSM]

Sunday Walks
 
My Thoughts aren’t worth the cracks in
the pavement I drag my feet across.
My heels scraping against the small rocks      counting syllables take out 'against', you cant scrape what youre not against
that have rolled into my static path.               i like how every two lines is one sentence.  what is static about the path? small rocks moving
 
My Emotions find a mirror sitting at the
top of a garbage can overflowing with bullshit.      so this is a literal mirror, its sounds like your thoughts are also the bullshit in selfdeprecating garbage
My arm can’t help but launch a nearby                               cant help, how about 'instinctively launches', that would also balance 25 syllables
stone, shattering the otherwise functioning reflection.
 
My Will bends like the feeble blades of grass I           your will bends like the grass, but your will bends the hands that bend the grass
run my shaking hands through in a park by myself.         shaking hands from fear? anxiety? weakness? like a weak will bends
My palms sweat as I fail to recognize the                                no syllable suggestions, i just like certain amounts of uniformity
back of my hand and its dark blue veins.                   i like not recognizing whats supposed to be the most recognizable body part, why dark blue veins? are they new?
 
My Heart stops at the hard edge of the               its is a hard edge, but hard seems like a weak adjective, bold edge, sharp edge
woods where Nothing meets Everything.
My knees buckle and I fall before the                            
proud oaks I have nothing in common with.     ive always been told not to end a sentence in a preposition, ayn rand did it often enough, its called poetic license but its really up to you.  are the oaks in the side of nothing or everything?  perspective
 
My Sorrow is like the slow roll of a single
bead of sap down a wounded tree.                               i like this sentence, without the 'like', why simile when you can metaphor?
My eyes can barely perceive the subtle motion
as gravity consumes both time and space.                   i like this line too, but not sure how it relates to your sorrow, whats the subtle motion? gravity from knees buckling? gravity from the weight of sorrow?  
 
My Reality meets me at the door to my                                        suddenly youre home again, the walk is over?
apartment like a cool draft in an empty restaurant.
My face searches for the right reaction, only                           no resolution, searching for reaction to the self from the change in atmosphere?
to settle with on a smile in danger of extinction.                  to settle with a smile, or on a smile, the latter seems to imply someone elses

i really like your pattern
my abstract notion followed by my body part.  leading us at least to a taste that youre going through something, without laying on us the gravity of what that something is.

keep up the good work, this has a lot of potential

[CRNDLSM]

Hey this is way better, suspenseful even at parts, one question though....

First Edit after much appreciated advice.*** 

Sunday Walks

Thoughts aren’t worth the cracks in
the pavement I drag my feet across. 
My heels scraping the small rocks
that had rolled into my weathered path

Emotions find a mirror sitting at the 
top of a garbage can overflowing with bullshit.
My arm can’t help but launch a nearby 
stone, shattering the fabricated reflection.

Will bends like the feeble blades of grass I
run my shaking hands through in an empty park.
My palms sweat when I fail to recognize the
back of my hand and its dark blue veins.

Heart stops at the harsh edge of the
woods where nothing meets Everything. 
My knees buckle and I fall before the 
proud oaks I have nothing in common with.

Sorrow is the slow roll of a single 
bead of sap down a wounded tree.
My eyes can barely perceive the subtle motion
as gravity consumes both time and space.

Memory clouds the sky, as a thunderous                       Nice addition to the piece, but 
storm devours the once peaceful expanse.
My legs turn home before my mind can 
abandon the pleasures of a carefree day.                  i thought the day was full of sorrow and bullshit and emptiness?

Reality meets me at the door to my 
apartment like a cool draft in an empty restaurant. 
My face searches for the right reaction, only
to manufacture a smile that is in danger of extinction. 

Thank you for your thoughtful remarks.  

Original***

Sunday Walks
 
My Thoughts aren’t worth the cracks in
the pavement I drag my feet across.
My heels scraping against the small rocks
that have rolled into my static path
 
My Emotions find a mirror sitting at the
top of a garbage can overflowing with bullshit.
My arm can’t help but launch a nearby
stone, shattering the otherwise functioning reflection.
 
My Will bends like the feeble blades of grass I
run my shaking hands through in a park by myself.
My palms sweat as I fail to recognize the
back of my hand and its dark blue veins.
 
My Heart stops at the hard edge of the
woods where Nothing meets Everything.
My knees buckle and I fall before the
proud oaks I have nothing in common with.
 
My Sorrow is like the slow roll of a single
bead of sap down a wounded tree.
My eyes can barely perceive the subtle motion
as gravity consumes both time and space.
 
My Reality meets me at the door to my
apartment like a cool draft in an empty restaurant.
My face searches for the right reaction, only
to settle with on a smile in danger of extinction.

[89layers]

I really like the edit. Good work!