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![[Image: portal.jpg]](http://wordbiscuit.com/im12/portal.jpg)
< the film begins >
a man stands beside a wall
he raises his hand
he explodes
an experimental film?
a scientific one?
the recording of a test?
the testing of a new device?
the man disintegrates
the wall becomes a portal
an act of faith?
a sacrifice to god?
an instrument of deliverance?
at the end of the film:
a date
a time
a "2"
2nd experiment?
a man
raises his hand
- - -
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Very interesting read. I like the image of the man raising his hand, the explosion, the 2, the portal. It's amazing what you were able to imagine from the picture. The lines of questions got a bit much. Overall, I enjoyed it enough to read it through a few times. Cheers!
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Responding more to content than to meter, rhythm, and other aspects of the craft...
One thing of which we may be certain is that the theme is heretical: every religion of a certain nature insists that its prime visible character is The Last - Seal of the Prophets, God's Only Begotten, Accept No Substitutes.
On the other hand, Second Coming. But that's not experimental.
On the third hand, we don't know the outcome of #2, which could make it all about assumptions of regularity on insufficient evidence. The hand could be raised, Monty Pythonesque, without result other than an annoyed, missed-their-cue expression. Bloody staghands b******* the wiring.
Very enjoyable; makes one  think. Or something like it.
 Non-practicing atheist
just mercedes
Unregistered
I enjoy this - the stark, simple statements, followed by questions that slowly peter out, as does the poem, as if overcome by inertia.
I particularly like not being sure what is happening, because it's not my responsibility to make sense of it. After all, the film maker knows what he's made. Or does he?
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(09-04-2016, 05:13 AM)cvanshelton Wrote: Very interesting read. I like the image of the man raising his hand, the explosion, the 2, the portal. It's amazing what you were able to imagine from the picture. The lines of questions got a bit much. Overall, I enjoyed it enough to read it through a few times. Cheers! Yeah, I should probably take out a question or two.
And yes, that's one of the things I love about the image and the words:
The interplay engages both the verbal and the visual. And they often have
disagreements. But that's what I'm intent on passing on to the reader.
(09-04-2016, 05:21 AM)dukealien Wrote: Responding more to content than to meter, rhythm, and other aspects of the craft...
One thing of which we may be certain is that the theme is heretical: every religion of a certain nature insists that its prime visible character is The Last - Seal of the Prophets, God's Only Begotten, Accept No Substitutes.
On the other hand, Second Coming. But that's not experimental.
On the third hand, we don't know the outcome of #2, which could make it all about assumptions of regularity on insufficient evidence. The hand could be raised, Monty Pythonesque, without result other than an annoyed, missed-their-cue expression. Bloody staghands b******* the wiring.
Very enjoyable; makes one think. Or something like it. While it's designed to promote creativity/thinking on the reader's side,
you've exceeded my expectations. Definitely a few I'd never thought existed.
But that's one of the rewards. Love comments such as yours.
"assumptions of regularity on insufficient evidence"
"Monty Pythonesque" Yes!
My thought was of the writer, the writer thinking the circularity is within the film, then,
at the end, realizing it is where he/she is, in real life. Of course, the "real life" I'm talking
about is still within the poem. The next layer is you. Maybe you shouldn't raise your hand.
(09-04-2016, 06:17 AM)just mercedes Wrote: I enjoy this - the stark, simple statements, followed by questions that slowly peter out, as does the poem, as if overcome by inertia.
I particularly like not being sure what is happening, because it's not my responsibility to make sense of it. After all, the film maker knows what he's made. Or does he? And who IS the film maker? She/he certainly wasn't me or I'd know
more about what was happening, know the answers to some of those questions.
Maybe the film maker is you. To me, you're composed entirely of words.
So for the you I know, anything is possible.
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(09-04-2016, 03:26 AM)rayheinrich Wrote:
< the film begins >
a man stands beside a wall
he raises his hand
he explodes
an experimental film?
a scientific one?
the recording of a test?
the testing of a new device?
the man disintegrates
the wall becomes a portal
an act of faith?
a sacrifice to god?
an instrument of deliverance?
at the end of the film:
a date
a time
a "2"
2nd experiment?
a man
raises his hand
- - -
Chute, I loved dukealien's analysis of this poem, just as much as how I'm really digging this piece. Although this feels a bit more like a Tarkovsky piece than a Jodorowsky piece, in that I don't feel any impulses to leave the theater and live my life by the end -- or maybe it's more like a David Lynch thing? a Charlie Chaplin thing? even a Mel Brooks thing?
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(09-05-2016, 04:50 PM)RiverNotch Wrote: Chute, I loved dukealien's analysis of this poem, just as much as how I'm really digging this piece. Although this feels a bit more like a Tarkovsky piece than a Jodorowsky piece, in that I don't feel any impulses to leave the theater and live my life by the end -- or maybe it's more like a David Lynch thing? a Charlie Chaplin thing? even a Mel Brooks thing? Well, since we're getting into film comparisons:
I'd claim it's like a
Alain Resnais, Last Year at Marienbad thing or a
Jean-Luc Godard, Alphaville thing or a
Terry Gilliam, Brazil thing
But
Tarkovsky - top 10 directors ever - I'm not worthy, but yes!
Jodorowsky - hate this guy (The Island wasn't that bad) - but sort of
David Lynch thing - yes
Charlie Chaplin thing - no
Mel Brooks thing - yes
Love that you're digging it. Poems like this are my faves even though
not many people like them. They're lazy, I tell myself, they don't like
having to write their own version of the other 95% of the poem. 
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I'm always afraid to ask this, but whats the deal with the the way you format your lines? You do this with most all your pieces, and I always wonder.. Nice to read something from you again btw,
mike
Crit away
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thank god he didn't raise two hands, we'd all be fucked.
you know i love your work ray, that said; this one's mojo escaped me,
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(09-07-2016, 07:30 AM)Weeded Wrote: I'm always afraid to ask this, but whats the deal with the the way you format your lines?
You do this with most all your pieces, and I always wonder.. Nice to read something from you again btw,
mike The format is just punctuation:
End of line = small pause. One blank line = medium pause. Two blank lines = long pause.
(And I feel flattered that you actually read the damned thing.)
(09-07-2016, 05:37 PM)billy Wrote: thank god he didn't raise two hands, we'd all be fucked.
you know i love your work ray, that said; this one's mojo escaped me, It's ones like this that make the other ones look good. (Oops, gave away a secret.)
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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