Red Patent Shoes -- revision

[Sparkydashforth]

Cool human behavioral observations Lixiep!

A couple sat across the circle............................how about lounged instead of "sat'?
from me. She reclined on his chest,...............I like this because it actually makes him the 'recliner'
like he was a plush couch........................how about cutting "like"?
He draped his arms around her,
familiar blankets. ...........................love it - it sounds so smug - like many new couples.
She was like a lizard,
sheltered from a cold night
inside the hollow of a tree.....................interesting variant on the snug feline imagery usually employed to illustrate this behavior.
He seemed to be the only solid part of her..................her possessiveness is apparent here.
She rarely spoke; he talked continuously..................her apparent confidence a passive-aggressive warning to others

He said to me, "I noticed your shoes."

She pulled away,
rigid,
as if to acquire
a wider im
of a foreign object..........................................delicious observations.
Then she squared her shoulders at me
and remained that way,
like a meerkat
on guard.....................................Brilliant.  Maybe cut - "at me"?

A man and woman sat across
from me. She reclined into him
like he was a plush couch,
warming herself in his cashmere arms,
a familiar blanket. The way she leaned on him,
he seemed to be the only solid part of her.
She rarely spoke; he talked almost continuously.
When he spoke to me he said, "I noticed your shoes,"

and she pulled away
from him, rigid,
as if to acquire
a wider image
of a foreign object.
Then she leaned
toward me,
and remained that way,
like a meerkat
on guard.

*small edits made on 10/11/16 in response to Alic and Achebe's feedback.*

[Lizzie]

He draped his arms around her,
familiar blankets. ...........................love it - it sounds so smug - like many new couples.

Soooooo smug. So very smug.

Thanks for your comments, Sparky. You raise some good points. I do overuse 'like' -- I'm working up the courage to use true metaphor.

Thanks for the read.