Sandals

[Wjames]

The tanned leather mules
have molded to the curves, bumps,
and horrors of their master.

Their slow trod is rhythmic
with a wobbling hungover grace
that breaks at regular intervals
for cigarettes and rest.

It’s morning, 
and the coffee house
is in a desert.

[kolemath]

I like the poem. It's simple and interesting, and though the poem's about sandals, a more interesting character emerges.

The tanned leather mules good image
have molded to the curves, bumps,
and horrors of their master. while i like curves, bumps and horrors,, but these words might be swapped for more concrete and interesting images, perhaps images more close to sandals. the flips and flops? maybe that's too obvious

Their slow trod is rhythmic
with a wobbling hungover grace
that breaks at regular intervals
for cigarettes and rest. again, i like the images; maybe this stanza could be cut down though. there's a lot of prepositions and other function words that aren't necessary to the idea you're after

It’s morning, 
and the coffee house
is in a desert. quite the turn here. i'm not sure how the shift to a coffee house is warranted, but the poem has mystical elements, so maybe it'll work. how are sandals connected?

thanks for sharing

[Lizzie]

Hey, Wjames! I really like this! So, naturally, I wanted to comment on it

The tanned leather mules -- I like 'mules' because of the 'beast-of-burden' image that it conjures, although I think that referring to them as camels might jibe well with the next line and with the last line. Perhaps.
have molded to the curves, bumps,
and horrors of their master. -- putting in 'horrors' gives the poem a little bit of nice emotional depth.

Their slow trod is rhythmic
with a wobbling hungover grace
that breaks at regular intervals
for cigarettes and rest. -- this whole stanza works overtime, conjuring images of the sandals' wearer. Well done.

It’s morning, 
and the coffee house
is in a desert. -- yeah, I agree that this is where you have an opportunity to flesh things out a bit more. I like that it's confusing, I just would like a couple more evocative details -- maybe something about the morning or the coffee house that ties in with what you've just said about the wearer. Then it will be perfect

[Wjames]

Thanks for your thoughts, I'm going to try and work with this one.

[just mercedes]

Hi - I love the way the first stanza is talking about sandals but it's making me see long, bare legs.

Slow trod? Slow tread, but a noun can't have a past tense, can it?

I totally agree that working mornings with a hangover makes any place a desert.

[Wjames]

Thanks JM! Trod is a verb, like step, similar to trot, but slower.

[CRNDLSM]

The tanned leather mules    
have molded to the curves, bumps,
and horrors of their master.   and this is funny cause people do abuse their feet huh?

Their slow trod is rhythmic  this combine you to the sandals, like a sword an extension of the weilder
with a wobbling hungover grace
that breaks at regular intervals
for cigarettes and rest.  cigarettes is kinda foreshadowing

It’s morning,    
and the coffee house  
is in a desert.

this could be taken so many ways!  immediately you put us in the desert with mules and their masters, but don't reveal the setting until the end.
makes me feel a long hungover walk to get, coffee, thank you!