Beat (rev 1 Apache, header change , added Austin Texas)

[Erthona]

Beat
 
-Last week of October- Austin, Texas
 
Sittin’ on a leaning bench against a left tilting post-hunter S.
top sun photovoltaic green solar cell lamp on Cons-egress,
Aah-Ben-new, ferblocks arso sowth of the
Stay-it Cap-pee-tall Bill-ding sits an old man
who thinks he is still younger than twenty-nine.
 
Wearing steely gray strands
of  hair-over blue collared work shirt,
jeans drywell worn out bottom topped-out
shirt-slick Red-Wing non-union work boots.
Overall a pretty good look foray-bum
without a smoke to his name.
 
He has long pointy Allen Ginsburg hands
that nervously and continuously turn
the Ann also Ryand  pages
of a dark cheap blue fie-dolla-journal
with lines, on-lines, of scragglie-scrawlie scribble-script
from an ex-tree’-super-duper fine punt-bald-pount pæn.
 
One limp-wristed Ginsburg hand  is currently holding
this self-same pæn, while the other, somewhat dainty hand,
with overly long yellowed nails,
thumbs thru the tepid tissues of ledger, note' leaf,
as the jaundiced handowner looks up with his
2% milk -fat lipid pale blue cataract eyes,
as the fingers continuing to stroll,
unconsciously down the imaginary jelly-roll lane
of the collective racial mass memory storage retaining area.
 
“Hey brother,”
 
The old man rumbles out raspilly
over fibrous strands of nicotine-filigreed mucus,
to a young pauser passing to slowly by.
 
“Spare a square?”
 
Young hand reaches into the over-priced light blue
Cool Arrow shirt pocket and pulls out a nearly empty
pack of Yellow Injuns that he hands to the old man.
 
“These do?”
 
“Sure man, thanks., ’preciate it.”
 
The Ginsburg hand fondles
the small white phallic symbol,
rolling it back and forth between two fingers,
feeling the tobacco crumple under the pressure,
then tamps it several times
before bringing it to the thin, dry lips
waiting to milk it, 
like venom is milked
from poisonous snakes.
As the open flame ignites the tip:
he sucks hard
and extracts the combustible offering. 
 
The old man draws deep the blue tinted
nick-‘O’-teen laced smoke with a sigh,
a sound that echoes
out the ancient cadaverous abyss
that are his lungs.
 
Straightly, Cool Arrow asks,
 
“What’s in the book?”
 
“This man? Just a little belles-lettres on beat.”
 
“Really? You a writer?’
“Sorta. I was almost famous once.
Got my brain bashed by a bottle of wine,
that Neal Cassady hit me with.”
 
“Wow, what happened?”
 
“Got five stitches man.”
 
“No, I mean, why did he do it.”
 
“Oh, I said that some stuff he wanted me to read,
by his boyfriend Kerouac’s sucked!” 
 
“Man,” spurts Cool Arrow,
“You must be ancient,
that was like fifty years ago?”
 
Youth! Bringing on the feeling of sudden tiredness.
The old man’s head nods in a non-committed
committal way of a beetle1
The old man's attention turns back to his very cheaply
worn dark blue fie-dolla journal.
 
Cool Arrow, unaware of being dismissed,
wonders off in a Ritalin deficiency haze
thinking of strong coffee,
long nylon’d legs,
painted pouty lips,
and  augmented udders.
He is a child of this new age:
artificial doesn’t bother him.
He was suckled on it.
 
 
-One week latter Cool Arrow, reading the daily rag-
 

“Unknown man remains hanging from tree on walking trail between

town-lake and the “Austin-American-Stateman,”newspaper for three days:

Witnesses said they thought it was a Halloween prank.

Several people thought it was the most life-like display

they had ever see, and sure to win first place.

 

“Yes,” said one

 

 

Even down to that God-awful smell. V-e-r-y Authentic.”

 

The only possession found was small dark blue journal book.

The writing in which was mostly unintelligible

and gave no clue as to the man’s identity.

Anyone who might know the identity of this individual

is asked to please contact the city police ”     

 

erthona
©2005 rev 2016
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
1. Word origin: Beetle: "Old English bīetel, from bēatan to beat ; related to Middle Low German bētel chisel, Old Norse beytill penis"  Dictionary.com
 
Also, Beetle: backwoods priest during the transition  between Old and Middle English periods, known for imbibing the sacramental wine, and thus the head nodding.  -Dale

[tomoffing]

I've been over this at least ten times now,and barely scratching the surface. Enthralling stuff! I'll try a proper crit when I've further digested. 
In the meantime, could please you reconsider your "phallic symbol"... It feels lazy and sticks out like a ...   


To be continued. Thanks,
t

[Erthona]

"It feels lazy and sticks out like a..." Billy?

Sure, it is rather obvious now that you point it out.

Thanks for the read through.


dale

[Apache]

It's going to take me a while to go through this and give a proper line-by-line (or even stanza-by-stanza) critique, but the one thing that really sticks out at me:

Several times you are clearly using or emphasizing a vernacular. For example, in the lines:

"Aah-Ben-new, ferblocks arso sowth of the
Stay-it Cap-pee-tall Bill-ding sits an old man"

and

"from an ex-tree’-super-duper fine punt-bald-pount pæn."

Maybe I'm just not familiar with whatever accent or dialect you are going with, or maybe you are intentionally going with several distinct ones, but I am having a very difficult time finding a consistent voice. I'm not finding that the different patois connect with each other, such that I find I end up reading it different each time. I just legitimately don't know which one you are trying to convey.

For example, line 15, you say "fie-dolla-journal", which I read like a stereotypical African-American accent (which would certainly go well with the Beat theme you have going on; the Beats were notoriously obsessed with African-American culture). But lines like "fine punt-bald-pount pæn" sound either Southern drawl or British depending on how you read it.

[Erthona]

Apache,

You're right dialect is very difficult to write. The commonality is the dialect comes in the narration, so I was meaning to use it less as a device for dialogue and more as a point of emphasis. Of course that was my intent and if it doesn't work, it doesn't (this certainly wouldn't be the first of many of my experiments that have not worked so well). I don't want to comment further on the dialect so as not to prejudice any other readings (Hopefully there will be some). I will say they hold within them more than just dialect.

Certainly the point you make at the end is a very valid one ("...sound either Southern drawl or British depending on how you read it."), unless written in phonetics there can most often be several takes on the pronunciation unless the writer's name is Sam Clemons.  

Thanks for giving it a read and for your comments.

dale

[Apache]

Apache,

You're right dialect is very difficult to write. The commonality is the dialect comes in the narration, so I was meaning to use it less as a device for dialogue and more as a point of emphasis. Of course that was my intent and if it doesn't work, it doesn't (this certainly wouldn't be the first of many of my experiments that have not worked so well). I don't want to comment further on the dialect so as not to prejudice any other readings (Hopefully there will be some). I will say they hold within them more than just dialect.

Certainly the point you make at the end is a very valid one ("...sound either Southern drawl or British depending on how you read it."), unless written in phonetics there can most often be several takes on the pronunciation unless the writer's name is Sam Clemons.  

Thanks for giving it a read and for your comments.

dale

I would say that to make the dialect really apparent to the reader is to have something in the first stanza that more explicitly sets it up. If the reader has some expectation at the beginning of what to "hear", the rest of the phonetics will fall in line. So either a line that says where the narrator is, or an unmistakable stereotype associated with that dialect, etc.

[Erthona]

Apache,

Not a bad idea, check the header  now.

dale

---

tomoffing,

Could you tell me why you think I need to remove that line. I have considered, and here are my thoughts. The line is linked to the person, the person being the generic/geriatric representation of the Beats, thus a "small white phallic symbol" and though somewhat trite it is also funny (or at least I think so) and as this is a satire, it is characterized by irony and humor. Those are my justifications for retaining the line, but thank you for making me consider why it is there. If you have further comments on this particular line or anything else I would be glad to hear them.

Thanks again,

Dale

[Apache]

Hi Dale,

I think that works a lot better. Now I instantly get that Southern accent going from the very beginning. I'm hoping to find time to give this a thorough read over the weekend so I can give you a more detailed critique!

[just mercedes]

Actually I like the way the poem focuses very closely on the man's hands, at that point rolling and feeling the cigarette. I've read it a few times now, and I feel the edit has smoothed the poem out for me at least. Now I'm seeing a clash of cultures, old man vs young man, each in their 'haze' and not really communicating at all, although words are exchanged. O like the play with sounds, very Beat, and the play with sexuality through Ginsberg's somewhat effeminate gestures, and the phallic cigarette.

I like the addition of time and place at the start - gave me a context for the man on the bench.

Does the second segment add anything, really? For me the poem ended with 'He was suckled on it. ' That left me with an image of the impossibility of communication between two people so wrapped up in their inner worlds that the outer world, in which they meet, doesn't really exist for them.

I figure a guy that old, living tough, won't last a long time, and I resist the suggestion that it was this encounter that made him take his life. But I'll read it some more. Just wanted to let you know I'd been by.

[Erthona]

JM,

Thanks for giving it a read. Yeah, at one point that ending had more justification. It ended with "Cool Arrow" * commenting about maybe he (the old man) felt bad about dissing Kerouac's stuff and that is why he hung himself. There actually was a man who hung himself at that place. I was working at the Austin-American-Statesman newspaper at the time, so I just sort of worked it backwards. I think it still has justification, but I would have to explain to much to do so, but I can understand what you mean. I'll consider.

*BTW The Spanish word I am mimicking is "culero" which of course sounds like "Cool Arrow and basically means "dick."

You picked up well on the cultural clash/similarity.

Thanks for the read, ’preciate it,

dale

[Magpie]

Dale,

I've read this a fair few times now and every time I read it I seem to discover more and more layers, references and possibilities within. I love all the play on words and sounds that run through the whole thing, although because of this (and probably my mind) I may have even been trying to find meanings in some phrases that weren't even meant as a play on words. I would say that this poem asks the reader to work quite hard at times, which is not a bad thing generally and I for one didn't mind. Whether or not I managed to understand everything you were trying to convey is yet to be seen. I should also point out that I noticed you had already previously posted this poem in the thread '2nd Annual Poems About Suicide Month', earlier this year. Which meant that I couldn't help but cross-reference between the two and wonder about certain lines or phrases that were different. I probably shouldn't have confused matters by doing this, but it's done now and I'll ask possibly ask later about the final line of the first poem that was omitted in this version.

Beat
 
-Last week of October- Austin, Texas
 
Sittin’ on a leaning bench against a left tilting post-hunter S. 
top sun photovoltaic green solar cell lamp on Cons-egress, 
Aah-Ben-new, ferblocks arso sowth of the 
Stay-it Cap-pee-tall Bill-ding sits an old man 
who thinks he is still younger than twenty-nine.

- A good 'Ginsberg-esque' long descriptive sentence that sets the 'beat' style well. There seems to be so much information in here and I could probably write a few hundred words on it, but I'll stick to some main points. I think the 'leaning bench' is a judicial reference of sorts especially with the mention of Congress Avenue. I'm unsure whether it is a straight reference to a 'leaning' towards a certain political persuasion or 'leaning' as in corrupt. 'left tilting' just after it sort of clears it up whilst at the same time adding to my confusion. If it was meaning 'corrupt' could it be better as 'Sittin' on a broken bench'. Hunter in post-hunter S. should possibly be capitalised if it is referencing the name, or so I thought until now, but I see that it may also be that S. is also 'Society' as well as an initial of a name (very clever). If top sun is a company name should it be capitalised? I think you could lose 'green solar cell' and still convey your intended meaning as all photovoltaic lamps have solar cells in them, so it's slightly redundant. I have no problem with all the many many play on words, although I do enjoy that style anyway, others may find it distracting when it is used so many times in a poem. 'Cons-egress' is good and seemed straight foward at first when I though it was 'cons' as in criminals, but now I've seen that it could possibly be Cons. as an abbreviation for Conservatives the political party (I suppose it's all the same in some peoples minds) Is 'twenty-nine' a reference to Ginsberg's age when he wrote 'Howl'?

Wearing steely gray strands 
of  hair-over blue collared work shirt,- Is 'work' necessary here with the 'blue collar' mentioned just before? Also there is a repetition two lines down and that 'work' seems to be more necessary. 
jeans drywell worn out bottom topped-out 
shirt-slick Red-Wing non-union work boots. - More excellent wordplay and euphemisms in these two lines. I especially like 'non-union' and its link to 'work' as well as meaning a broken bone that doesn't heal.
Overall a pretty good look foray-bum - Presuming that 'overall' is also a reference to work clothing could it here be pluralised which would be more accurate whilst also possibly fitting in with the dialect ie 'overalls - overall it is' - It might just be a British thing to want it pluralised
without a smoke to his name.
 
He has long pointy Allen Ginsburg hands 
that nervously and continuously turn - if you dropped 'and' and even possibly hyphenated 'nervously-continuously' it would emphasise the sense of a continuous nervous motion
the Ann also Ryand  pages - I presume it's 'an also ran', although I never got the name references. 
of a dark cheap blue fie-dolla-journal - I like the use of colour words like 'dark' and 'blue' in the whole poem and their double meanings, however on the first couple of readings, on lines like this one I didn't get it immediately and even now when I read it I get more of a feeling of awkward syntax even though I know that not to be the case.
with lines, on-lines, of scragglie-scrawlie scribble-script 
from an ex-tree’-super-duper fine punt-bald-pount pæn. - I like the use of the a-e ligature here and its meaning of 'almost' and how it explains the characters despair and hopelessness. I'm unsure of its use as a prefix on its own. Although 'pen' which is essentially the same prefix obviously wouldn't stand out the same way that 'pæn' does. Ironically though a prefix of 'almost' that prefixes nothing is brilliant indeed... I've confused myself now, I'll think some more about it later perhaps.
 
One limp-wristed Ginsburg hand  is currently holding - Oh, I meant to mention this before, is 'Ginsburg' an intentional alternative spelling of 'Ginsberg' or not. It threw me at first and I thought it was a spelling mistake but after thinking about it I could see possible reasons for an intentional mis-spelling. 
this self-same pæn, while the other, somewhat dainty hand, - is 'somewhat dainty hand' needed here? without it in it reads the same without over emphasising his homosexuality. Or is that the intention
with overly long yellowed nails,
thumbs thru the tepid tissues of ledger, note' leaf, - the use of the word 'ledger' here is interesting and makes me think in terms of business transactions (metaphorical or otherwise) instead of written poetry which was my first thought
as the jaundiced handowner looks up with his
2% milk -fat lipid pale blue cataract eyes, - more excellent use of colours describing more than just colour in these two lines. If there was a similar way of saying blue using a different word like the way you have done with yellow and jaundiced then it would be good to use in a couple of places where you have used 'blue' which is the most used colour reference in the poem perhaps on the verge of being over-used.
as the fingers continuing to stroll, - could drop 'as the' here and I feel it reads smoother
unconsciously down the imaginary jelly-roll lane
of the collective racial mass memory storage retaining area.  - All my previous critique written above was written about 3 hours ago and it was my intention to critique the whole poem with the thoughts I had until I came to these lines here which for some reason I perceived differently this time and therefore had to go away and think again about the whole thing. Are these two lines a reference to a racial stereotype, with 'jelly-roll' being black slang for female genitalia. I'm wondering now if I misinterpreted certain parts and in some ways I don't want to look stupid by saying what I now think but I'm going to say it anyway. Is this the black Ginsberg (the reason for the alternative spelling?) that 'almost' made it but never would because of societies sweeping stereotypes about black society and in particular black men. All the many references to colours throughout.
 
“Hey brother,” 
 
The old man rumbles out raspilly - Is 'raspilly' correct? some dictionaries say 'raspily' is a word although others don't
over fibrous strands of nicotine-filigreed mucus, - love this line and the contrasts between filigreed and mucus
to a young pauser passing to slowly by. - did you mean 'too'? 
 
“Spare a square?” - coupled with the quote above, this is an interesting reference to "Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?" an 'anti-system' song from the great depression era. It works well in the context of the poem.
 
Young hand reaches into the over-priced light blue 
Cool Arrow shirt pocket and pulls out a nearly empty 
pack of Yellow Injuns that he hands to the old man. 
 
“These do?”
 
“Sure man, thanks., ’preciate it.”
 
The Ginsburg hand fondles 
the small white phallic symbol, 
rolling it back and forth between two fingers, - perhaps lose 'back and forth'
feeling the tobacco crumple under the pressure,
then tamps it several times - could drop 'then'. 'tamps' is an excellent choice of word
before bringing it to the thin, dry lips 
waiting to milk it,  
like venom is milked 
from poisonous snakes. - although I understand why you wanted to use 'poisonous' it feels redundant because you say 'venom' in the previous line
As the open flame ignites the tip: 
he sucks hard 
and extracts the combustible offering. - I think this stanza could be more effective if written slightly differently by cutting a lot of the smaller words like 'as' and 'the' so that it reads more choppy and frenetic towards the climax.
 
The old man draws deep the blue tinted 
nick-‘O’-teen laced smoke with a sigh, - this comes across in basic terms as 'he inhaled/breathed in with a sigh' whereas the sound of a sigh would come with an exhale or breathing out
a sound that echoes 
out the ancient cadaverous abyss - I like the description here however 'cadaverous' is a visual description of something which doesn't work for me when describing 'lungs' which are unseen
that are his lungs.
 
Straightly, Cool Arrow asks,
 
“What’s in the book?”
 
“This man? Just a little belles-lettres on beat.” - 'belles-lettres' sounding like 'belletrist' -- "the man is a little belletrist on beat" -- Absolutely brilliant 
 
“Really? You a writer?’
“Sorta. I was almost famous once.
Got my brain bashed by a bottle of wine,
that Neal Cassady hit me with.”
 
“Wow, what happened?”
 
“Got five stitches man.”
 
“No, I mean, why did he do it.”
 
“Oh, I said that some stuff he wanted me to read, 
by his boyfriend Kerouac’s sucked!”  
 
“Man,” spurts Cool Arrow, 
“You must be ancient,
that was like fifty years ago?”
 
Youth! Bringing on the feeling of sudden tiredness. 
The old man’s head nods in a non-committed 
committal way of a beetle1
The old man's attention turns back to his very cheaply 
worn dark blue fie-dolla journal. 
 
Cool Arrow, unaware of being dismissed,
wonders off in a Ritalin deficiency haze 
thinking of strong coffee, - I really like this stanza here and even think that on its own it could make and excellent short poem with the odd word tweaked. However in the context of the poem I think it might be best to separate the 'strong coffee' in a definite way from the next three lines because as it is it reads a bit like 'strong coffee' is part of the list that follows. Perhaps something like 'in need of strong coffee, he thought of,' and then the three lines.
long nylon’d legs, 
painted pouty lips, 
and  augmented udders.
He is a child of this new age: 
artificial doesn’t bother him.
He was suckled on it. - I kind of agree with Mercedes that here seems the appropriate end for the poem, but then since my possible revelation earlier on I can see a justification for the final part of the poem.
 
 
-One week latter Cool Arrow, reading the daily rag-
 
“Unknown man remains hanging from tree on walking trail between 
town-lake and the “Austin-American-Stateman,”newspaper for three days: 
Witnesses said they thought it was a Halloween prank. 
Several people thought it was the most life-like display 
they had ever see, and sure to win first place. 
 
“Yes,” said one 
 
 
Even down to that God-awful smell. V-e-r-y Authentic.” 
 
The only possession found was small dark blue journal book.
The writing in which was mostly unintelligible 
and gave no clue as to the man’s identity. 
Anyone who might know the identity of this individual 
is asked to please contact the city police ”      
 

The ending baffled me before and I didn't quite understand why he had killed himself. Although now I can see the significance as a symbol and a statement on society, stereotypes and race. Perhaps it is best for me not to totally say what my interpretation is, partly in case I'm wrong but mostly because a critique should probably not dwell too much on an interpretation. Hopefully there is more critiquing in what I have written than pondering interpretations. 

Thanks for the read,

Mark

  awarded by mod/dale

[Erthona]

Wow Mark thanks, what an excellent critique.

You know I started to put revised on this, but I did a search and nothing came up although I was almost positive I had posted it before. So thanks for the info, I would never have figured that out.

I think the answer to most of your questions is yes, except for the spelling (I must have been having  fantasies of Ruth. Actually I was not trying to emphasize Allen's "gayness" (I don't think effeminate equates to gay anyway), I was always just fascinated by his hand movement when he would describe things, and the old man is (and here to so extent I let the cat out of the bag) at one level a superficial facsimile of the Beats and especially Ginsberg. I've written a number of poems around this idea of people who only imitate the surface features of certain types of poetry, but especially Beat poetry. Such as:
__________________________
The Gammer

Instead of her face she has a picture
of a pair of gams as her avatar.
A wise choice no doubt:
the gams look better.
I’ve been there myself.

Two stems, the color
of blue whale underbelly
in black and white;
already neatly netted,
and ready for sale.

However, the idea that these gams
are Black & White is erroneous.
They are a false color image,
minus the color.
…this is developing nicely!  
--------------------------------  
Sorry, I forgot to ask,
“Do they go all the way up?”
--------------------------------
I guess its film noir after all.
Goodnight Allen Ginsburg:
dead, but not missed.
After all, they have the look,
who needs the substance?
__________________________________

So at least on one level it is a play on that.

" top sun"

You missed the pun on this one:Hunter S. Thompson - Thomp=top  son=sun

Yes, I know I indulge way too much.

Yes, drop the photovoltaic. But the lamp is green, "Hunter Green"

Should that "to" be "too"? I don't know, but then again my dyslexia is probably kicking in, so tell me why. I haven't a clue at the moment.

Actually the 29 was a play also, his age, yes, but also on Jack Weinberg's  "We don't trust anyone over thirty". So a little parallelism there.

One work will do, pi'son gone, venom remains.

Actually " jelly-roll" stands for anything good, especially pleasurable, your interpretation as well, all of that. Notice the wording surrounding it.

"unconsciously down the imaginary jelly-roll lane" Also a Jungian reference there.


of the collective racial mass memory storage retaining area"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I agree with most of your suggestions, except the coffee one. He may in fact need coffee, but he is also thinking about coffee in the sense of hitting a coffee shop, where he just might meet his plastic woman, having now met his plastic beat, but disco was never kind to us who had to endure it

Thanks again Mark, best critique I've had in a long time.

Dale

[Magpie]

Thanks for the reply Dale, when I wrote this critique I seemed to be changing my mind so many times over certain aspects and at one point there was a danger that I was going to scrap the whole thing. In the end I kind of forced myself to finish it then press the 'Send Reply' button so that I didn't have a chance to change my mind. So to be honest I wasn't sure what you would make of my somewhat self indulgent analysis/critique...

I really liked the use of wordplay and playing with sounds which is strange because now after reading your Hunter S. 'top sun' explanation; I realised that I didn't actually read the poem out loud. It is a crime that I'm guilty of too many times, had I done so I'm sure I would have got the Hunter S. thing.

A couple of other things... I seemed to have found euphemisms too easily when they weren't implied. Although I do think that this may be partly a cultural thing at times. "Limp wristed", seemed straight forward for me at the time, but I think that it is probably more used by British people, not particularly as a saying but an actual physical action. Also, I've never seen footage of Ginsberg (except briefly in the background of a Dylan music video) to know that he had such mannerisms... It makes sense now.

My knowledge on the phrase 'Jelly-Roll' is from blues music, but probably like lots of phrases that come from 'Blues' culture their meaning isn't exactly the same now as it was originally. Perhaps it is time that I re-wrote the 'Blues Dictionary'.

As for coffee?? When has coffee ever meant coffee?   In a coffee shop most probably.

Thanks again for the reply and also, just in case you need it, this is the link to post of your poem that you originally posted last February http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-16621...#pid185081

Mark

[Erthona]

Oh, we use the "limp wristed " thing here also, but it was a feature in some clips I saw of Ginsberg and as I know many people think in terms of behavioral mannerisms or affectations to identify someone as something, but while it is sometimes true, it can also be false. So, although I am aware Ginsberg was gay, he had no more "gay" mannerisms than say Dylan, since you mentioned him.

My original awareness of the term "jelly-roll" was used in a song by Michael Murrphy in lyrics something to the effect

"You got to have a good jelly-roll,
if your gonna be on your on
when the times are hard."

Which led me to believe it meant money. If he were not such a straight forward writer, I could see where "hard" could mean erection and then your definition would fit. Regardless, I was only using it to mean something of value and in the sense of the line it was multiple as my poems tend to be layered. So it was personal past, beat past, civil rights past, et al. Of course the point is it is imaginary as he is simply a poser, a hanger on (not even a chronicler), but still important as the last vestige of Beat. Of course that is a metaphor in itself, if you understand what I mean.

There were some things I didn't want to go into depth with in terms of a response, as it tends to set the thing in stone and can be no other way, which is why I avoided the "black" question. I will say only this, and not to disparage as we all have human failures. Yes, the Beats were very interested in this "problem". However as you astutely pointed out, he was writing in a "ledger." There are many kinds of ledgers and the Beats were not above using certain issues to their benefit. As I said, this is not about condemnation, simply observation and when I say the "Beats" I am not referring to specific people but the movement that birth the cultural revolution. I'll allow a few lines from a poem explain what I mean (one of mine of course).

"It mattered not the cause, equality - civil rights.
we cared nothing for the principal, we were fighting just to fight.
It was the time of our rebellion, demarcation close at hand,
we played by ear, those years ago, we never had a plan."

Mark wrote:

"The old man rumbles out raspilly - Is 'raspilly' correct? some dictionaries say 'raspily' is a word although others don't
over fibrous strands of nicotine-filigreed mucus, - love this line and the contrasts between filigreed and mucus
to a young pauser passing to slowly by. - did you mean 'too'?"

No I guess I coined the word. I wanted it lengthened with the extra "L". So a little usage of onomatopoeia. It simply means his voice was raspy, but it would not be an uncommon usage to hear "raspily" in the south. I just sort of extended it some.    I'm not sure "pauser is a legitimate word either, it comes up under "pause" in the dictionary, but there is no specific mention of it.

I didn't mean "too", but I guess I need to mean "too". 

Thanks for the link.

I'd give you a feedback award, but you already have one...maybe you can have more


dale