Carrion Crown

[Wjames]

A dentist prowls savannah sand,
he needs to find his plaque;
like bloody gums from shaky hands,
with guns this time, attacks.
 
A lion falls, his jaw destroyed,
there’s time for one more shot;
a camera’s flash preserves his joy,
the lion’s carcass rots.

[tectak]

A dentist prowls savannah sand,
he needs to find his plaque;
like bloody gums from shaky hands,
with guns this time, attacks.
 
A lion falls, his jaw destroyed,
there’s time for one last shot;
a camera’s flash preserves his joy,
the lion’s carcass rots.

Bravo and bravo and bravo.
I could not have put it better myself... no, really.
Beast,
tectak

[Wjames]

A dentist prowls savannah sand,
he needs to find his plaque;
like bloody gums from shaky hands,
with guns this time, attacks.
 
A lion falls, his jaw destroyed,
there’s time for one last shot;
a camera’s flash preserves his joy,
the lion’s carcass rots.

Bravo and  bravo and bravo.
I could not have put it better myself... no, really.
Beast,
tectak

Thanks, glad you like it. Unfortunately, as such topical things go, within a month it will be incomprehensible to most people (at least, the dentist bits).

[John]

Love the title as a summation of that story.

One last shot seems axiomatic. There can only be one last shot. What about there's time for one more shot ?

Cheers

A dentist prowls savannah sand,
he needs to find his plaque;
like bloody gums from shaky hands,
with guns this time, attacks.
 
A lion falls, his jaw destroyed,
there’s time for one last shot;
a camera’s flash preserves his joy,
the lion’s carcass rots.

[Keith]

Quite a topical and sobering analogy, I didn't get the title at first but I guess all that's left is to pick at the remains. very well done, Keith

[Wjames]

Thanks for reading guys, yes one more shot is a little better - I'll make the change.

[ChristopherSea]

Hey man, nice shot and very inspired! I do have a suggestion:
'Savannah sand' is not a common pairing and seems more contrived
to make the rhyme. Perhaps, 'land(s)' would serve you better.

See what you think./Chris

[John]

Or as it's a game reserve, protected lands?

[Wjames]

I think right now I prefer "sand", but I'll keep your thoughts in mind. If everyone else agrees savannah sand seems forced, I'll definitely consider changing.

Thanks for your ideas guys.