Glide Comes Before The Fall (title change, edit #1)

[ellajam]

Glide Comes Before The Fall edit #1 (Cidermaid, Brownlie, Grace, Wjames, John) edit 1.1 (PJS)
(and a thank-you to Ray and milo for the NaPM prompt:
Topic 3: Ray would like to see a poem about the Circus, particularly concerning nostalgia, food or a terrible accident.)

So near the tight-pulled patchwork tarp < it took me a while to get that this was the circus tent. I might suggest changing tarp to something else...just doesn't quite get the image done for me.
I climb onto my wooden perch;
the bubbleheads are packed below,
each cap confetti on the crowd.

I set my sights across the span;
with spine aligned and shoulders squared
I find my center, set a smile
and take off on my usual walk
with pole in hand, the wire taut.

A boy, whose mother thinks he's sweet,
gets itchy from the silent awe.
A glow of mischief sparks his eye,
he burrows round until he's found
the sharpened pencil in his pack
to prick his souvenir balloon.

The pop rings out, its sharp report
a bullet through the fragile spell.
A pause, a slide, a wobbled step,
I spread my wings but catch no air.

Ok honestly I really love this. The meter gets a bit too repetitive for me after awhile, but I also like it so I don't know what to do. Give it some thought. Your first edit is a major improvement and the only image that really bothers me is the tarp. The only other thing I can think of is to give the scene a little more color,maybe in the balloon, to make it more creepily cheery, or if you are going for just plain creepy more details like the patchwork in the roof.

Hi, mightbe, thanks so much for your comments. It's really interesting that you found the meter monotomous, maybe I should think about changing it up at some point. And thanks for pointing out that I haven't gotten the opening lines right yet. I'll see what I can do with it.